The Last Bastion Of Absurdity

Ah, I thought only people whose parents want them to do medicine had this issue. But here I am desperately reading and rereading uni websites trying to find a course in Sydney which is nearly as awesome as the one at QUT so that my mum will stop yelling at me about having a closed mind. Lovely.

In the event that this effort fails - I know there is at least one Queenslander on my flist. I'm looking into the logistics of studying there, which basically means shared accommodation (that bit's not so difficult) and a job. Given average rent prices my minimum is twenty hours a week at something that pays $15 p.h. Having only dipped my toe into the employment pool in the context of weekly bread I don't really know what brand of creature I'm looking for. Advice? Thoughts? Reality checks?

Week two without internet. Beginning to experience withdrawal symptoms. Have succumbed to the lure of exorbitantly priced public internet services. When I say “beginning” I mean “continuing.” Still bitter about the ludicrous events surrounding my disconnection to the web.

See, last Friday Sydney experienced what is known among non-meteorologists as a Big Damn Storm. I’m a fan of these, because they are awesome. When it hit, I was on a bus on my way home from my little brother’s daycare Christmas concert, whence I had been hijacked for camera duties by my mother. I disembarked into a wall of water, struggling to open my umbrella and my jingling mobile phone at the same time, swore a bit as thunder exploded within about a meter of my head, apologised to the man on the phone who was trying to tell me that my application to the Fine Arts (Creative Writing Production) course at QUT was successful, gave up on the umbrella and ran all the way home, ankle deep in rainwater.

My first thought, naturally, was to post on livejournal about it – well, no, my first thought was to get out of my soaking wet jeans, but aside from that – so I switched on my computer and typed up something to the effect of “EEEEEEEEEEEE” with side notes of “I’m not going to get struck by lightning I’m not going to get struck by lightning augh” and the occasional detour on the subject of towels. When I went to post it, however, I found my connection completely and utterly dead. This actually happens often enough during electrical storms, so I wasn’t too worried. I should have started getting suspicious once it started to clear up slightly, when a knock on the door prompted me to run downstairs, pause, run back upstairs, put some pants on, and run back downstairs to find my neighbour, who was checking to see if our power was off like theirs, which it wasn’t.

When my dad got home and checked everything out, the internet still wasn’t working. This, it turned out, was the fault of a burnt out modem, and network cards. Because we had apparently been STRUCK BY LIGHTNING WTF. There followed a week of replacing things and phone calls to tech support, all of which have thus far proved fruitless.

My latest call, this morning, merely went to establish that no, the guys at iinet haven’t got a clue what’s going on either. So that, my friends, is why I have not been commenting for the unprecedented time span of an entire week. Woe. It hasn’t even made me that much more productive, I’ve just been sleeping a lot and fiddling with things. Playing The Sims. Stuff like that. Read some books!

Anyway, this may be the last communiqué for some time, depending on when we figure out what in the flaming hell is wrong with our internet, but I’m totally with y’all in like, spirit or something.


PS: A surreal interlude. As I finished writing this I got a phone call from the school where my mum works as an ESL teacher. I asked if I could take a message but the secretary, in tones harried, asked if I spoke Russian and if I could translate for her, because there was a man at the front desk who didn’t speak English and she hadn’t a clue what he wanted to know. Then she handed the phone to the Russian fellow, who was trying to find out about a concert his granddaughter was supposed to be in and whose date he’d clearly gotten wrong. Random enough for you?

OMG GUYS OMG OMG.

Remember that horror ezine that I mentioned? Well, I submitted a story - not the creepy zombie drabble, a funny frankenstein non-drabble - AND THEY ACCEPTED IT. 2200 words = $15 and a T-shirt. AND MY VERY FIRST PUBLICATION THAT IS NOT PUBLISHED BY MY SCHOOL OMG.

Now I'm seriously wondering about using a pen name or not. What do you guys think?

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In other news, mrbehemoth's election blogging is the most awesome thing I have read this week. And this week has been full of awesome. I fell off my chair laughing. Well, metaphorically. I mean, metaphorically falling, not metaphorically laughing, although possibly metaphorical chair. I think I'm giddy.

Labor leader Kevin Rudd held a baby and smiled. John Howard responded by holding the same baby and pulling a face that suggested opossums were mating in his digestive tract.

Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile briefly ceased to exist at a Nationals Party function, causing almost no comment whatsoever.

Go check it out.

I'M NOT DEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Take that, Modern History! I survived the HSC exam and I NEVER have to think about Douglas "Doug Baby" "Don't tell mom about my girlfriend" "The government is out to get me" MacArthur EVER EVER AGAIN. YESSSSSS.

Ahem. Yay. Innn other news, I'm downstairs in a rolly chair with the cat on my lap. The phone just rang and, rather than chase her off, I rolled the chair all the way across the room just in time to pick it up. Then after I stopped moving, the cat ran off anyway. Five minutes after she comes back, my mobile rings. Arg.

ETA: I seriously hate this computer. Not only is it INCREDIBLY slow and devoid of all my music, but it is currently experiencing mouse drift. If I don't keep moving the mouse down it slowly drifts towards the upper left hand corner of the screen. This is a bitch on small links, let me tell you. Or even large ones. I keep clicking home instead of stop, and open new window instead of open new tab, and just WATCHING IT GO is so very very irritating. Don't even talk to me about scrolling. On the bright side, my dad has promise to switch my computer's internet back on after my maths exam on monday. Hurrah!

In honour of my 18th - new layout, name and subheading! I'd swap my icons round but I want off this computer because it's cold down here. My dad said he'd reconnect the internet in my room, but then he didn't. :(

Read this.

Sorry I'm short these days. Upcoming Trials, erratic internet connection and that good old nervous breakdown make for a curt Maggie.

On the bright side, today in Modern History I learned that most of my class has mumbled about dropping out of school and living in a garbage can. So I'm not overreacting, nyah.

So i can has facebook now. Oh god, somebody slap me before I get a myspace. I've been fiddling with features and looking through photo albums. I found some of me but I won't tell you where because I was a) drunk and b) sulking real hard, so they're not exactly flattering. Plus I found lots of randoms I haven't talked to in ages, because facebook just imports your address book and adds whoever has a facebook, and gmail keeps everyone you've ever talked to ever in your address book...

In other news, my computer is finally getting fixed! So I won't have to put up with the annoying common PC and freeze my toes off much longer.

I am ill. I can has le flu.

:(

Wow, two drunk posts in as many weeks. I'm not turning into an alcoholic guys, I'm just uh... under stress from the HSC and all, yeah.

...um, it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Why won't my fire alarm stop going off randomly? :( I'm so depressed about my lack of essay writing skills. Help!

I feel better. Huh. Maybe it wasn't entirely the sudden temperature drop (although it is freezing as all fuck wtf land of sun and surf ;_;), it's just the way my poor study skills are catching up to me (waving leetle flags of shitshityou'resoscrewed). My inability to do anything useful with my free time is frankly depressing.

But, tea and pirates and the Chaser help. So does Supernatural (obtaining the latest episode tonight, with luck).

Speaking of which, who wants to beta a slightly cracky SPN ficlet? It's got smug!dean and spluttery!sam and the Flaming Avenger. I mostly need an SPN fangirl to check my characterisation (and maybe suggest an ending... I've wrapped up what needed to actually happen but i can't figure out how to round it off) although I'm not sure if any read my lj as they never comment. However if any grammar nazi I know *cough*you know who you are*cough* feels like practicing their skills, you're free to have a sneak preview.