UTS Cup Challenge: The Screenplay.
Jul. 22nd, 2005 06:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bliumchikBy Maggie Bloome, Debatrix Extroadinare!
Castycasty:
Team
Teh Maggeh! (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
maggiebloome and Your Host this Evening)
Diana (Lady Dee of Achairleg)
Melissa (mayuki_miyazawa The Slash Queen)
Adultss
The Ramsonator (Mr Ramson The Swedish Substitute Teacher from Sweden, did we mention Sweden? AKA Cheekbones)
Zoya (Debating Coach of 1337 Goodness)
1337 Organisatey People (UTS Staff)
Various Adjudicators
Randoms
Gerric Random Jessica (We discuss science fiction, therefore we are l33t)
Ruxi (Lucy, School Personage Mentioned Once)
Jackie (Melissa's TWU WUB OMG)
Angela (School Personage Mentioned Once)
Zerlin (Likewise School Personage Mentioned Once)
Carmen (School Personage Mentioned Twice, because there are Two Of Them)
Inanimate Objects
Alarm Clock (Alarm Clock)
Pigeon (Actually An Animate Object)
Grasshopper (Likewise An Animate Object)
Map (Not Helpful)
Various Buildings
Other
Scene 1: The Journey
Alarm clock: Beep beep, six o'clock, you are doomed, beepety beepety doom beep.
Teh Maggeh: We are not amused. Got served with the notice yesterday. *races for bus stop*
Central: Hi, I am looming.
Diana: Hi, I am cold.
Teh Maggeh: So have you met Ruxi yet? Can we go? Out of the cold? The coldetty coldetty cold c-c-c-cold?
Diana: Ruxi hasn't shown up, I've been here fifteen minutes, so we shall therefore wait a further ten.
Teh Maggeh: Fair n-n-n-nuff.
Pigeon: Coo! I must take inexplicable interest in white paper bag!
Metal thingies near lift: Hah! We are merely lights and do not shoot fire in any way shape or form! No, you want sausages for that!
Diana: Screw this, giving assignment to Min for Ruxi.
Teh Maggeh: Finally! And thus we leave.
UTS: Zomg I am teh UTS buildingz0rr! I am l337 and have red couches! *waves leetle flag*
Melissa: I am ten mjinutes late! Let us partake of the joyous map-reading experience!
Map: Wrong building, you are in. Obscure instructions, I give. Not labelled, this street you are on is.
Melissa: Never fear! For Lo! I am skilled in the ways of buses!
Diana: We are eternally grateful!
Scene 2: And So We Die
The Ramsonator: Girls! Behold I am Swedish! Registration is through this portal. I shall wave the leetle flag of Sweden!
Year Ten: We have emergency replacements! You have the wrong names on your list!
The Ramsonator: Woe is me! There shall be white out and gnashing of teeth!
Gerric Random Jessica: Zomg I am someone you know from a different school! We shall kick ass!
1337 Organisatey People: Behold, for we are late. Proceed to the Auditorium.
Auditorium: Hi, I'm a garage. But it's okay, cos I have a computer with a projector! *waves leetle flag*
1337 Organisatey People: We have a cheesy welcoming speech. We also have a confusing room number system, which actually is neither confusing, roomy nor numerous. We are in urgent need of a swing team.
Randoms: We shall wave the leetle flag of volunteering!
Projector: Behold, I display a table! Your mission, should you choose to accept it... is That We Should Have a Free Trade Agreement with China.
Scene 3: FTA and the Drongo
Debators: We shall wave the leetle flag of lemminghood! First one up the stairs wins the internet!
Diana: Lo! I have booklets!
Melissa: Behold! I have a cheap 1987 text-book that I bought for 20c at the library sale! It has sticky notes and highlighting!
Teh Maggeh: Lo and behold! I have, er... 1337 ranting skills! ...OF DOOM! *waves leetle flag*
Time: *is up*
Adjudicator: Lo, I am friendly and asian.
Negative Team: Hi, we're the boys from WoopWoop. Our school sounds like Parkinsons disease! *waves leetle flag*
Diana: I am nervous, I shall stutter. GDP, FTA, yuan, export import tricky economic moves.
1st Negative: OMG WE SHALL BE FLOODED BY CHEAP CHINESE IMPORTS!!!111!!eleventy!!!
Teh Maggeh: I am also nervous, I shall talk too fast. Politics, foothold, cunning diplomatic moves.
2nd Negative: OMG WE SHALL BE FLOODED BY CHEAP CHINESE IMPORTS!11!!!1!one!!!
Melissa: I wave the leetle flag of nervousness and read off my palm cards! Rebuttal, summary, FTA = economic gain and military help.
3rd Negative: Australia doesn't have an FTA with the USA, and we have military help from THEM. In summary, we can't FTA with China cos then we'll be multicultural. Oh and have I mentioned the cheap Chinese imports?
Diana: Abujewha?
Melissa: OMG RACIST PIG!11!!!!1!
Teh Maggeh: *hand hits desk* *head hits desk* *hysterical laughter*
Adjudicator: Er, this was a, very close debate because both teams were so... so... so GOOD. Yeah. *waves leetle flag of lying through the teeth* Er, in summary, you all kept saying things which were grossly wrong. But I blame the 1337 Organisatey People for giving you such a dodgy topic when you haven't studied economics. Incidentally, GDP doesn't work like that... and Australia does have a Free Trade Agreement with the USA.
1st Negative: OMG really?!
2nd Negative: Um, yes.
3rd Negative: ... T-T
Adjudicator: Affirmative won cos they had backup blahblah didn't rely on just one point blahblah. Off to morning tea with you, for I must fill out forms!
Scene 4: Bikkies
Zoya: OMG HOW DID YOU GO THERE ARE BISCUITS!
Team: *waves leetle flag of lucky win*
Zoya: YAAAAAY!
Other SGHS Teams: Zomg we have won also!
Zoya: W00t, have biscuits.
Everyone: Don't mind if I do.
Gerric Random Jessica: zomg how did you do? We kicked ass! *waves leetle flag of itoldyouso*
Teh Maggeh: We did too! Have biscuits!
Break: *is needlessly long*
Grasshopper: *hops onto jumper*
Teh Maggeh: *shriek* ...awww, it's a grasshopper.
Everyone: Awwww, it's a grasshopper.
Grasshopper: OMG IT IS A GIANT WALL OF PINKNESS!1!!!!11! Run away!
Everyone: Awww.
The Ramsonator: Girls, how did you do? *waves leetle flag of sweden*
Everyone: *mobs Ramson*
Grasshopper: *phew*
Teh Maggeh: OMG Mr Ramson it is teh grasshopper!
The Ramsonator: Awww, it's a grasshopper.
Grasshopper: Argh. *climbs Ramsons jumper*
The Ramsonator: Awww. Here have it back now.
Teh Maggeh: I shall be noble and release it into the wild!
Grasshopper: OMGNOES I have decided I like your hand!
Teh Maggeh: Er... have a leaf?
Grasshopper: *purr*
Teh Maggeh: Maybe if I release it on these little green things close to the ground instead of a huge palm frond...
Grasshopper: Yes! It thinks! *hop* *is instantly camouflaged*
Teh Maggeh: Oh well, that's that.
1337 Organisatey People: Auditorium! Powerpoint! New Topic! Dananana! That The UN Should Expand Its Security Council!
Scene 5: UN and the Lebwannabee Drongos
Team: That was such a fluke we're gonna die now.
Affirmative Team: Yo, we be Lebaneeeze. See our masterful maroon Sydney tech uniforms!
Team: ...
Affirmative Team: Hey, what's the Security Council again?
Team: ... this isn't happening AGAIN.
Prep Time: *is up*
Affirmative team: We shall wave the leetle flag of cluelessness! We have a model.
Security Council: Er, I apparantly have only five members.
UN: Er, me too.
Japan: Apparantly I'm 1337 and need to be let into the UN for my technology.
India: Yeah, well I beat that! I'm a third world country AND a major world power AT THE SAME TIME.
Team: O_O
Affirmative Team: How'd we go?
Team: O_O
Adjudicator: Um... I'm giving this to the negative.
Scene Six: Lunch
Zoya: I am making the sausages of DETH! Did you win?
Team: Er, yes...
Zoya: Excellent, have sausages. *waves leetle flag*
Sausages: *burst into flames*
Everyone: Erm... look, veggie patties!
Teh Maggeh: I search in vane for my grasshopper, but alas, it is gone!
Melissa: You. Market city. Now.
Teh Maggeh: Meep!
Market City: Lo! I have asian takeaway and icecream!
Melissa and Teh Maggeh: We rejoice! Now we shall bitch about the other teams!
1337 Organisatey People: And your next topic iiiis... That Foreign Aid Provided To Developing Countries Should be Tied to the Protection of the Environment!
Teh Maggeh: Yayz I can rant about stuff!
Team: Yay!
Other Team: *turns out to be the other SGHS team*
Everyone: But... but... noo!
1337 Organisatey People: Alas, for we are implacable.
Scene 7: Ranty McRant
Topic: I am juicy and delicious, with a spicy environmental dressing!
Teh Maggeh: Yay! *waves leettle flag of Rant*
Negative Team: O_O
Diana: Pssst! She's just ranting!
Teh Maggeh: *is slightly miffed*
Adjudicator: Zomg you are over time! OVER TIME BITCH! But you guys still win. Woo.
Team: Yaaay!
Teh Maggeh: Wait, crap, that means we might be in the final...
Melissa: OMGNOES I is meeting my TWU WUB I must forsake the finals!
Teh Maggeh: That's okay, I have to pick up my glasses anyway.
Diana: Spoilsports!
Zerlin: Heh, that's ironic - if we'd won we'd have to duck out too, cus I have, um, stuff. Training. And stuff.
Everyone: *goes downstairs to await TEH ANNOUNCEMENT*
Scene 8: In Conclusion
1337 Organisatey People: Ho hum, is somebody waiting for something?
The Ramsonator: Girls, I must leave, tell me at school if you got into the finals. *waves leettle flag of Sweden and exits*
Jackie: *turns up out of thin air* Zomg hi I am Melissa's TWU WUB we shall now suck face.
Melissa: Yay!
The Other Carmen: Oh, yuck. I'm gonna be over there now.
Everyone: *giggle*
Auditorium: *waves leetle flag*
Everyone: Yay finally! *troops in*
1337 Organisatey People: And the finalists arrrrre... RAVENSWORD AND TARONGA!!!11!!eleventy!!!
Tangara: *waves leetle flag*
Ravenswood: *waves leetle flag*
Team: *sigh of relief* We shall now go home!
Teh Maggeh: oh noes where is my bus stop?!
Angela: Behold, for I shall show you the way!
Teh Maggeh: Yay!
Bus: *is late*
Optometrist: *is closed*
Teh Maggeh: ;_;
Teh Feet: *muttergrumble*
Home: *waves leetle flag*
THE END. Divers alarums, all exit, business with turntable.
Castycasty:
Team
Teh Maggeh! (
maggiebloome and Your Host this Evening)Diana (Lady Dee of Achairleg)
Melissa (
mayuki_miyazawa The Slash Queen)Adultss
The Ramsonator (Mr Ramson The Swedish Substitute Teacher from Sweden, did we mention Sweden? AKA Cheekbones)
Zoya (Debating Coach of 1337 Goodness)
1337 Organisatey People (UTS Staff)
Various Adjudicators
Randoms
Gerric Random Jessica (We discuss science fiction, therefore we are l33t)
Ruxi (Lucy, School Personage Mentioned Once)
Jackie (Melissa's TWU WUB OMG)
Angela (School Personage Mentioned Once)
Zerlin (Likewise School Personage Mentioned Once)
Carmen (School Personage Mentioned Twice, because there are Two Of Them)
Inanimate Objects
Alarm Clock (Alarm Clock)
Pigeon (Actually An Animate Object)
Grasshopper (Likewise An Animate Object)
Map (Not Helpful)
Various Buildings
Other
Scene 1: The Journey
Alarm clock: Beep beep, six o'clock, you are doomed, beepety beepety doom beep.
Teh Maggeh: We are not amused. Got served with the notice yesterday. *races for bus stop*
Central: Hi, I am looming.
Diana: Hi, I am cold.
Teh Maggeh: So have you met Ruxi yet? Can we go? Out of the cold? The coldetty coldetty cold c-c-c-cold?
Diana: Ruxi hasn't shown up, I've been here fifteen minutes, so we shall therefore wait a further ten.
Teh Maggeh: Fair n-n-n-nuff.
Pigeon: Coo! I must take inexplicable interest in white paper bag!
Metal thingies near lift: Hah! We are merely lights and do not shoot fire in any way shape or form! No, you want sausages for that!
Diana: Screw this, giving assignment to Min for Ruxi.
Teh Maggeh: Finally! And thus we leave.
UTS: Zomg I am teh UTS buildingz0rr! I am l337 and have red couches! *waves leetle flag*
Melissa: I am ten mjinutes late! Let us partake of the joyous map-reading experience!
Map: Wrong building, you are in. Obscure instructions, I give. Not labelled, this street you are on is.
Melissa: Never fear! For Lo! I am skilled in the ways of buses!
Diana: We are eternally grateful!
Scene 2: And So We Die
The Ramsonator: Girls! Behold I am Swedish! Registration is through this portal. I shall wave the leetle flag of Sweden!
Year Ten: We have emergency replacements! You have the wrong names on your list!
The Ramsonator: Woe is me! There shall be white out and gnashing of teeth!
Gerric Random Jessica: Zomg I am someone you know from a different school! We shall kick ass!
1337 Organisatey People: Behold, for we are late. Proceed to the Auditorium.
Auditorium: Hi, I'm a garage. But it's okay, cos I have a computer with a projector! *waves leetle flag*
1337 Organisatey People: We have a cheesy welcoming speech. We also have a confusing room number system, which actually is neither confusing, roomy nor numerous. We are in urgent need of a swing team.
Randoms: We shall wave the leetle flag of volunteering!
Projector: Behold, I display a table! Your mission, should you choose to accept it... is That We Should Have a Free Trade Agreement with China.
Scene 3: FTA and the Drongo
Debators: We shall wave the leetle flag of lemminghood! First one up the stairs wins the internet!
Diana: Lo! I have booklets!
Melissa: Behold! I have a cheap 1987 text-book that I bought for 20c at the library sale! It has sticky notes and highlighting!
Teh Maggeh: Lo and behold! I have, er... 1337 ranting skills! ...OF DOOM! *waves leetle flag*
Time: *is up*
Adjudicator: Lo, I am friendly and asian.
Negative Team: Hi, we're the boys from WoopWoop. Our school sounds like Parkinsons disease! *waves leetle flag*
Diana: I am nervous, I shall stutter. GDP, FTA, yuan, export import tricky economic moves.
1st Negative: OMG WE SHALL BE FLOODED BY CHEAP CHINESE IMPORTS!!!111!!eleventy!!!
Teh Maggeh: I am also nervous, I shall talk too fast. Politics, foothold, cunning diplomatic moves.
2nd Negative: OMG WE SHALL BE FLOODED BY CHEAP CHINESE IMPORTS!11!!!1!one!!!
Melissa: I wave the leetle flag of nervousness and read off my palm cards! Rebuttal, summary, FTA = economic gain and military help.
3rd Negative: Australia doesn't have an FTA with the USA, and we have military help from THEM. In summary, we can't FTA with China cos then we'll be multicultural. Oh and have I mentioned the cheap Chinese imports?
Diana: Abujewha?
Melissa: OMG RACIST PIG!11!!!!1!
Teh Maggeh: *hand hits desk* *head hits desk* *hysterical laughter*
Adjudicator: Er, this was a, very close debate because both teams were so... so... so GOOD. Yeah. *waves leetle flag of lying through the teeth* Er, in summary, you all kept saying things which were grossly wrong. But I blame the 1337 Organisatey People for giving you such a dodgy topic when you haven't studied economics. Incidentally, GDP doesn't work like that... and Australia does have a Free Trade Agreement with the USA.
1st Negative: OMG really?!
2nd Negative: Um, yes.
3rd Negative: ... T-T
Adjudicator: Affirmative won cos they had backup blahblah didn't rely on just one point blahblah. Off to morning tea with you, for I must fill out forms!
Scene 4: Bikkies
Zoya: OMG HOW DID YOU GO THERE ARE BISCUITS!
Team: *waves leetle flag of lucky win*
Zoya: YAAAAAY!
Other SGHS Teams: Zomg we have won also!
Zoya: W00t, have biscuits.
Everyone: Don't mind if I do.
Gerric Random Jessica: zomg how did you do? We kicked ass! *waves leetle flag of itoldyouso*
Teh Maggeh: We did too! Have biscuits!
Break: *is needlessly long*
Grasshopper: *hops onto jumper*
Teh Maggeh: *shriek* ...awww, it's a grasshopper.
Everyone: Awwww, it's a grasshopper.
Grasshopper: OMG IT IS A GIANT WALL OF PINKNESS!1!!!!11! Run away!
Everyone: Awww.
The Ramsonator: Girls, how did you do? *waves leetle flag of sweden*
Everyone: *mobs Ramson*
Grasshopper: *phew*
Teh Maggeh: OMG Mr Ramson it is teh grasshopper!
The Ramsonator: Awww, it's a grasshopper.
Grasshopper: Argh. *climbs Ramsons jumper*
The Ramsonator: Awww. Here have it back now.
Teh Maggeh: I shall be noble and release it into the wild!
Grasshopper: OMGNOES I have decided I like your hand!
Teh Maggeh: Er... have a leaf?
Grasshopper: *purr*
Teh Maggeh: Maybe if I release it on these little green things close to the ground instead of a huge palm frond...
Grasshopper: Yes! It thinks! *hop* *is instantly camouflaged*
Teh Maggeh: Oh well, that's that.
1337 Organisatey People: Auditorium! Powerpoint! New Topic! Dananana! That The UN Should Expand Its Security Council!
Scene 5: UN and the Lebwannabee Drongos
Team: That was such a fluke we're gonna die now.
Affirmative Team: Yo, we be Lebaneeeze. See our masterful maroon Sydney tech uniforms!
Team: ...
Affirmative Team: Hey, what's the Security Council again?
Team: ... this isn't happening AGAIN.
Prep Time: *is up*
Affirmative team: We shall wave the leetle flag of cluelessness! We have a model.
Security Council: Er, I apparantly have only five members.
UN: Er, me too.
Japan: Apparantly I'm 1337 and need to be let into the UN for my technology.
India: Yeah, well I beat that! I'm a third world country AND a major world power AT THE SAME TIME.
Team: O_O
Affirmative Team: How'd we go?
Team: O_O
Adjudicator: Um... I'm giving this to the negative.
Scene Six: Lunch
Zoya: I am making the sausages of DETH! Did you win?
Team: Er, yes...
Zoya: Excellent, have sausages. *waves leetle flag*
Sausages: *burst into flames*
Everyone: Erm... look, veggie patties!
Teh Maggeh: I search in vane for my grasshopper, but alas, it is gone!
Melissa: You. Market city. Now.
Teh Maggeh: Meep!
Market City: Lo! I have asian takeaway and icecream!
Melissa and Teh Maggeh: We rejoice! Now we shall bitch about the other teams!
1337 Organisatey People: And your next topic iiiis... That Foreign Aid Provided To Developing Countries Should be Tied to the Protection of the Environment!
Teh Maggeh: Yayz I can rant about stuff!
Team: Yay!
Other Team: *turns out to be the other SGHS team*
Everyone: But... but... noo!
1337 Organisatey People: Alas, for we are implacable.
Scene 7: Ranty McRant
Topic: I am juicy and delicious, with a spicy environmental dressing!
Teh Maggeh: Yay! *waves leettle flag of Rant*
Negative Team: O_O
Diana: Pssst! She's just ranting!
Teh Maggeh: *is slightly miffed*
Adjudicator: Zomg you are over time! OVER TIME BITCH! But you guys still win. Woo.
Team: Yaaay!
Teh Maggeh: Wait, crap, that means we might be in the final...
Melissa: OMGNOES I is meeting my TWU WUB I must forsake the finals!
Teh Maggeh: That's okay, I have to pick up my glasses anyway.
Diana: Spoilsports!
Zerlin: Heh, that's ironic - if we'd won we'd have to duck out too, cus I have, um, stuff. Training. And stuff.
Everyone: *goes downstairs to await TEH ANNOUNCEMENT*
Scene 8: In Conclusion
1337 Organisatey People: Ho hum, is somebody waiting for something?
The Ramsonator: Girls, I must leave, tell me at school if you got into the finals. *waves leettle flag of Sweden and exits*
Jackie: *turns up out of thin air* Zomg hi I am Melissa's TWU WUB we shall now suck face.
Melissa: Yay!
The Other Carmen: Oh, yuck. I'm gonna be over there now.
Everyone: *giggle*
Auditorium: *waves leetle flag*
Everyone: Yay finally! *troops in*
1337 Organisatey People: And the finalists arrrrre... RAVENSWORD AND TARONGA!!!11!!eleventy!!!
Tangara: *waves leetle flag*
Ravenswood: *waves leetle flag*
Team: *sigh of relief* We shall now go home!
Teh Maggeh: oh noes where is my bus stop?!
Angela: Behold, for I shall show you the way!
Teh Maggeh: Yay!
Bus: *is late*
Optometrist: *is closed*
Teh Maggeh: ;_;
Teh Feet: *muttergrumble*
Home: *waves leetle flag*
THE END. Divers alarums, all exit, business with turntable.
