bliumchik | Incongruity befits a boring ljquiz

i am not : drunk
i hurt : every second sunday
i love : those little shiny things you sometimes get in cereal
i hate : constipation
i hope : the earth doesn't get swallowed by a black hole
i hear : something sinister
i crave : resolution
i regret : that I have but one life to waste for my country
i cry : wolf
i care : deeply
i always : wondered, but I'll never know
i long to : confess my sins and then go on a massive killing spree
i feel alone : without my teddy bear
i listen : closely
i hide : because I can't run
i drive : you crazy
i sing : a song of joy, for peace shall come my sister
i dance : 2 da gr00v3
i write : love letters to satan
i breathe : Emo fumes
i play : with your head
i miss : the train
i search : under my bed
i learn : bugger-all
i feel : homicidal
i know : the last in line is always called a bastard
i say : I say I say, what did the fat lady sing to the tenor
i succeed : at failure
i fail : at nothing bitch! Mwahahahaa!
i dream : of Jeanie
i sleep : around
i wonder : whenthe earth will explode
i want : your body
i worry : warts and boils
i have : a cow
i give : whatever you're willing to take
i fight : in t3h ninja style of ninja! w00t!
i wait : and bleed
i need : vodka
i am : spiderman
i think : I see you cry
i can't help the fact that : my brain is twisted

Now tell me that isn't more interesting than answering the actal questions? We have boring lives, accept it and make up weird shit for fun. Or quote weird shit. Or make obscure personal references that will look like weird shit o everyone else. And just in general have fun with context, lack of.