Original flashfic: Lesbians To The Rescue
Feb. 15th, 2010 01:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bliumchikTitle: Lesbians To The Rescue
Ficathon: Sex Is Not The Enemy challenge.
Wordcount: 808
Rating: G
Notes: I left this a little late, but here we are! The picture it's inspired by will be linked in the text.
“I hereby,” Sara began, then paused to clear her throat and adjust her glasses nervously. Robin smiled up at her encouragingly from her spot curled up in the beanbag with her clipboard. Sara rallied and rapped her pen on the little podium firmly (but not too firmly, they’d salvaged it from a pile of broken furniture on collection day and it was liable to fall apart of pressed the wrong way). “If you’d all be quiet, yes Emma I am looking at you… thank you. I hereby call this meeting of the Lesbian Rescue Society to order!”
Emma cocked her head and tapped one perfect nail against her chair. “I still think that is the most pretentious thing we could possibly have called ourselves, oh my god.”
“Yeah, seriously!” added Keisha, with whom she’d been gossiping a moment earlier.
Ant raised a hand flippantly from where she was slouching in the big armchair in the corner. Sara wasn’t sure how that worked, exactly, but somehow Ant was capable of embodying perfectly ordinary gestures with inhuman levels of sarcasm.
“Yes?” Sara tried to go for a firm yet encouraging tone, like all the leadership books she’d been reading said. She had a sneaking suspicion she was landing more in the vicinity of terrified.
“Much as I hate agreeing with Lipstick over there,” drawled Ant, “It’s not exactly catchy, is it?”
“I still think we should have gone with an acronym!” piped up Ronnie. “Then we could sign it to anonymous notes and stuff!”
“Ladies,” Robin started. “Could we-”
“We should just sign them dash Lesbians,” ‘Nita smirked. She held up a set of airquotes and put on a film-noir gangster voice. “Stop calling your ex. We’re watching you. Yours sincerely – Lesbians.”
"Also, I feel like we're leaving out the bisexuals here, but I can't think of a good acronym with a B in it," Ronnie mumbled worriedly.
“Well my first idea was an acronym-” Ant said.
“We are not calling ourselves LEER, Ant, seriously,” Emma interrupted. “You couldn’t even thing of anything for the E’s to stand for that made sense!”
“Hey... Lesbians Entering Everyone’s Relationships was totally-”
“Like I said, you couldn’t even-”
“Oh you did not-” Ant went so far as to sit up slightly.
“I think we could be the Lesbian Personal Life Entanglement Aid Society,” said Ronnie loudly, trying to drown out the bickering from the other side of the room. “L-PLEAS! It totally works!”
“That is way too long, Rons, no way,” said Keisha. Ronnie pouted.
“Ooh, what if we called it the Ladies’ Personal Life Entanglement Aid Society?” she cried, brightening up. “Then we wouldn't be leaving anyone out and we could be Ladies, PLEAS! That would be awesome, right?”
She looked around hopefully, then drooped again when it became apparent that everyone was watching Ant and Emma descend into blatant name-calling instead of paying attention to her.
Sara bit her lip. This was her first day as chairwoman and she was already losing control of the agenda. Of course, the agenda!
“Ahem!” she said, then again, louder, but everybody continued to ignore her. She looked despairingly at Robin, who took pity on her and did that awesome fingers-in-mouth whistle that Sara was secretly trying and failing to learn.
Everyone stopped at looked back at the front.
“Right!” Sara announced. “We have an agenda.”
She brandished it for emphasis. “We can add potential name-changes to the end of it, okay? First up, we have two urgent cases: Sandra’s ex-boyfriend and the Mickey and Jeanne situation.”
“Oh god, save us from bi-curious women!” Ant muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Hey!” said ‘Nita. “I know you started pre-school in combat boots, but some of us had to take some time to figure ourselves out. Maybe she’s just-”
“Okay, I’m sorry, there is no just with Mickey,” Keisha put in. “That girl falls hard, and if Jeanne changes her mind she is going to get hurt.”
There was a full chorus of nods.
“All in favour of gently but firmly warning her away?” Sara asked.
“Aye!” the Society chorused.
“Motion carried!” said Sara triumphantly, watching Robin record the vote count. She decided she was maybe getting the hang of this.
Later that week, as they walked down the street from the coffee shop, she spotted a tag on the wall in familiar handwriting. Somehow it managed to emanate a mild sense of irony. Robin smiled fondly at it. “It’s nice that she’s so enthusiastic,” she said.
“Do you think we’re doing the right thing?” Sara asked, worrying at the loose thread in her sweater.
“Hey.” Robin pulled Sara’s hand away and laced their fingers together. “You are a great chairlady, okay?”
Sara looked down and smiled. Somehow Robin always managed to answer the questions Sara couldn’t quite ask.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
“That’s what sidekicks are for, right?”
Sara looked sideways at her girlfriend and found herself matching the grin on her face. On impulse she started to run, tugging her along by their linked hands.
“To the Lesbian Cave, Robin!”
Ficathon: Sex Is Not The Enemy challenge.
Wordcount: 808
Rating: G
Notes: I left this a little late, but here we are! The picture it's inspired by will be linked in the text.
“I hereby,” Sara began, then paused to clear her throat and adjust her glasses nervously. Robin smiled up at her encouragingly from her spot curled up in the beanbag with her clipboard. Sara rallied and rapped her pen on the little podium firmly (but not too firmly, they’d salvaged it from a pile of broken furniture on collection day and it was liable to fall apart of pressed the wrong way). “If you’d all be quiet, yes Emma I am looking at you… thank you. I hereby call this meeting of the Lesbian Rescue Society to order!”
Emma cocked her head and tapped one perfect nail against her chair. “I still think that is the most pretentious thing we could possibly have called ourselves, oh my god.”
“Yeah, seriously!” added Keisha, with whom she’d been gossiping a moment earlier.
Ant raised a hand flippantly from where she was slouching in the big armchair in the corner. Sara wasn’t sure how that worked, exactly, but somehow Ant was capable of embodying perfectly ordinary gestures with inhuman levels of sarcasm.
“Yes?” Sara tried to go for a firm yet encouraging tone, like all the leadership books she’d been reading said. She had a sneaking suspicion she was landing more in the vicinity of terrified.
“Much as I hate agreeing with Lipstick over there,” drawled Ant, “It’s not exactly catchy, is it?”
“I still think we should have gone with an acronym!” piped up Ronnie. “Then we could sign it to anonymous notes and stuff!”
“Ladies,” Robin started. “Could we-”
“We should just sign them dash Lesbians,” ‘Nita smirked. She held up a set of airquotes and put on a film-noir gangster voice. “Stop calling your ex. We’re watching you. Yours sincerely – Lesbians.”
"Also, I feel like we're leaving out the bisexuals here, but I can't think of a good acronym with a B in it," Ronnie mumbled worriedly.
“Well my first idea was an acronym-” Ant said.
“We are not calling ourselves LEER, Ant, seriously,” Emma interrupted. “You couldn’t even thing of anything for the E’s to stand for that made sense!”
“Hey... Lesbians Entering Everyone’s Relationships was totally-”
“Like I said, you couldn’t even-”
“Oh you did not-” Ant went so far as to sit up slightly.
“I think we could be the Lesbian Personal Life Entanglement Aid Society,” said Ronnie loudly, trying to drown out the bickering from the other side of the room. “L-PLEAS! It totally works!”
“That is way too long, Rons, no way,” said Keisha. Ronnie pouted.
“Ooh, what if we called it the Ladies’ Personal Life Entanglement Aid Society?” she cried, brightening up. “Then we wouldn't be leaving anyone out and we could be Ladies, PLEAS! That would be awesome, right?”
She looked around hopefully, then drooped again when it became apparent that everyone was watching Ant and Emma descend into blatant name-calling instead of paying attention to her.
Sara bit her lip. This was her first day as chairwoman and she was already losing control of the agenda. Of course, the agenda!
“Ahem!” she said, then again, louder, but everybody continued to ignore her. She looked despairingly at Robin, who took pity on her and did that awesome fingers-in-mouth whistle that Sara was secretly trying and failing to learn.
Everyone stopped at looked back at the front.
“Right!” Sara announced. “We have an agenda.”
She brandished it for emphasis. “We can add potential name-changes to the end of it, okay? First up, we have two urgent cases: Sandra’s ex-boyfriend and the Mickey and Jeanne situation.”
“Oh god, save us from bi-curious women!” Ant muttered, rolling her eyes.
“Hey!” said ‘Nita. “I know you started pre-school in combat boots, but some of us had to take some time to figure ourselves out. Maybe she’s just-”
“Okay, I’m sorry, there is no just with Mickey,” Keisha put in. “That girl falls hard, and if Jeanne changes her mind she is going to get hurt.”
There was a full chorus of nods.
“All in favour of gently but firmly warning her away?” Sara asked.
“Aye!” the Society chorused.
“Motion carried!” said Sara triumphantly, watching Robin record the vote count. She decided she was maybe getting the hang of this.
Later that week, as they walked down the street from the coffee shop, she spotted a tag on the wall in familiar handwriting. Somehow it managed to emanate a mild sense of irony. Robin smiled fondly at it. “It’s nice that she’s so enthusiastic,” she said.
“Do you think we’re doing the right thing?” Sara asked, worrying at the loose thread in her sweater.
“Hey.” Robin pulled Sara’s hand away and laced their fingers together. “You are a great chairlady, okay?”
Sara looked down and smiled. Somehow Robin always managed to answer the questions Sara couldn’t quite ask.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
“That’s what sidekicks are for, right?”
Sara looked sideways at her girlfriend and found herself matching the grin on her face. On impulse she started to run, tugging her along by their linked hands.
“To the Lesbian Cave, Robin!”
