snippet from writing workshop: assonance, consonance, alliteration

[bliumchik]

kissed her, kissed her
static system stuck to blistered skin
ecstatic, sister give me back my memories of sin
unstuck, the trickster. tick the billet
take the ballot - let me in.

Comments

[woodburner.livejournal.com]

I really, really like "static system stuck to blistered skin".

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

That was the first line ^^ we were only supposed to write one line and i got carried away :P

[http://users.livejournal.com/_fakeplastic/]

There's something about this that I really like.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Sound repetition is just that cool. also, having an odd number of beats to a line makes poetry really compelling because it just drags you across to the next line in hopes of finishing the rhythm.