bliumchik | Captain Oblivious Goes To Uygur

Dramatis Personae
Birthday boy: SR
Bride of the Birthday Boy: IR
Mother of the Birthday boy: Hair
Maggie: Cpt. O
Mum: Mum

Russian people have the funniest birthday parties. Some family friends invited us to dinner for one such occasion last night, to an Uzbecki place near Darling Harbour. As soon as we arrived the mother of the birthday boy, whom I shall refer to as Hair because she has the traditional 70s Soviet Electric Socket style, told us in an authoritative voice exactly what to order - the goulash and shish kebabs, and some sort of meat dumplings, which was exactly what everyone else was having.

Cpt. O: Oh, noodles...
Hair: TRUST me. These are good. Get these.
Cpt. O: Hey, mum, they have egg salad...
Mum: Oh, salad. You should get the one with the eggplants and the avocados.
Cpt. O: ...no, I just thought the egg one looked cool...
Mum: Maggie wants a salad!
Hair: No, no, no, trust me, this is what you want. Have you ever been here before? Get this.
Cpt. O: Uh, whatever... also, we clearly need more tea cups.
IR, flagging down a waiter: Three extra tea cups, please.
Mum: Excuse me, can we have this salad with the cucumbers?
Hair: Oh, oh, tea cups! Could you please get us three more tea cups? And three orders of what everyone else is having.
Waiter: *blinks*

I&S R have recently moved into their own home, sans kitchen. Or rather, their intent was to remodel the kitchen, but the net effect is the same - they've been living on takeout for the past month. The spoons are in the bedroom and the microwave is in the bathroom. When the toasts started, my mother felt it imperative to get in her two cents. Conversation had run to the topic that IR had brought the average weight of the family down steeply.

Mum: I propose a toast! May IR get fatter soon, although you'll have to help, SR, *wink*
Cpt. O: *sinks down in seat*
Table: LOL
Mum: See, Maggie, I said he'll have to help, get it? Get it? See what I did there?
Cpt. O: *mumbles*
Mum: I was clever!
Cpt. O: Mum, when you do the wink wink nudge nudge thing, that makes it a single entendre.
IR: Hey, that reminds me of a joke! How can you reduce your average pregnancy time to half its normal length?
Table: ...
SR: Or to a third, if you try really hard ;)
Table: ...
SR: Have twins!
Table: LOL
SR: Or triplets! See, because I said you'll have to try really hard...
Cpt. O: Yes, I see what you did there. *sinks further below table*

Eventually we all dispersed, only to discover that my dad had parked the car "somewhere, I think near an Oporto" and then sort of "walked in the general direction of the restaurant." So we walked in the general direction of the car for a bit, and surprisingly only had to double back once. A good time was had by all, and Uzbecki teapots are really cool.