bliumchik | (no subject)

Warning: This post contains girly bits and talk about body figure type things. If you are averse to reading about said topic, or just aren't quite that bored yet, feel free to skip ahead to the footnotes, cos most of the funny stuff is there anyway.

I've noticed my Sims do a funny thing when I've been making them work out a lot recently. They suddenly stop what they were doing, their abdominals bulge into high relief and they say the Simlish equivalent of "Whoah, dude! I'm ripped! Cool!"¹ I had a similar epiphany² the other day when my mum poked me in the stomach and said "Hey! the pilates is working!" which prompted me to spend a few minutes looking perplexedly into the mirror before going "Waitasec... didn't that bit used to be lumpy...?"

This may cause those of you who actually know me (but have not gone swimming with me) some puzzlement, because my figure is the type that the unkind might refer to as a "rake."³ Simply put, I'm sort of lacking in fat deposit areas. The problem with this is that the few places that do accumulate fat tend to look grossly disproportional when I'm out of shape. Arms? Sticks. Ass? Oh, there it is! Breasts? Nothing to point out to tourists. Calves? ...have you ever seen a chicken?⁴ But the inner thighs and stomach have these random unsightly bulges which probably contributed to my abiding hatred of bikinis.

I only ever started pilates because, well, because my mum would nag if I hadn't, and because it was sort of worrying to get out of breath from running ridiculously short distances, and exercise is good for you, or so they say. I did not join the gym to lose weight, in fact I had an amusing conversation with a trainer while being introduced to equipment in which her part consisted mostly of "But you do KNOW you don't need to lose weight, right?!" (from which I conclude that she has dealt with a lot of anorexic girls). And I probably weigh the same as I did before, if I ever weighed myself, because muscle is denser than fat. But a flat stomach is an unexpected, what shall we call it? Bonus. Yes. Hurray for exercise, I suppose?

¹Pregnant mothers do something similar - their bellies bulge out and they go "Whoah! I'm slightly more pregnant than I was yesterday!"
²Only without the bulging abs, because that would be strange and unnatural and probably more indicative of an alien baby than an increased level of fitness.
³As in garden implement often stepped on by cartoon characters, not a dissolute man in fashionable society.
⁴If you have never seen a chicken, they are believed to be descended from the wild Indian and south-east Asian Red Junglefowl, have the capacity to grow teeth and their meat is commonly known as "chicken", thank you Wikipedia.