Captain Oblivious Goes To Uygur

Dramatis Personae
Birthday boy: SR
Bride of the Birthday Boy: IR
Mother of the Birthday boy: Hair
Maggie: Cpt. O
Mum: Mum

Russian people have the funniest birthday parties. Some family friends invited us to dinner for one such occasion last night, to an Uzbecki place near Darling Harbour. As soon as we arrived the mother of the birthday boy, whom I shall refer to as Hair because she has the traditional 70s Soviet Electric Socket style, told us in an authoritative voice exactly what to order - the goulash and shish kebabs, and some sort of meat dumplings, which was exactly what everyone else was having.

Cpt. O: Oh, noodles...
Hair: TRUST me. These are good. Get these.
Cpt. O: Hey, mum, they have egg salad...
Mum: Oh, salad. You should get the one with the eggplants and the avocados.
Cpt. O: ...no, I just thought the egg one looked cool...
Mum: Maggie wants a salad!
Hair: No, no, no, trust me, this is what you want. Have you ever been here before? Get this.
Cpt. O: Uh, whatever... also, we clearly need more tea cups.
IR, flagging down a waiter: Three extra tea cups, please.
Mum: Excuse me, can we have this salad with the cucumbers?
Hair: Oh, oh, tea cups! Could you please get us three more tea cups? And three orders of what everyone else is having.
Waiter: *blinks*

( further shenanigans )