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Apr. 12th, 2007
Yesterday...
Apr. 12th, 2007 04:29 pm...was a cranky day. Now those of you who know me are aware that I am almost supernaturally good-natured, even my temper tantrums are laughable. So my cranky days consist mostly of stomping around, pouting, snapping my fingers and sometimes decorously throwing soft things at other soft things, while loudly proclaiming that the entire universe fails at everything.
Yesterday my mother failed at getting dressed at all before coming to wake me up, BEFORE ELEVEN mind you, to tell me that I was meeting great aunt Nadia in the city in an hour or two to take some jackets to be altered, a development of which I had not previously been aware. So that didn't set the day up very nicely. Then my glasses mysteriously failed to show up, so I had to squint my way to said meeting while carrying a paper carry-bag which completely and utterly failed at being easy to actually, yaknow, carry... thanks to those rope handles that invariably dig into anything you suspend them by, be it the shoulder, elbow or fingers.
By the time I met my aunt, I'd gone right through "wah everything fails" and temporarily come out on the side of "lol everything fails" - I was then very amused to meet a friend of Nadia's and her grand-daughter who had... very visibly failed at not being dressed by elderly female relatives. I mean, poor girl, nobody deserves huge purple sequinned hand-me-downs. I started sliding back down sometime during my aunts pitiful haggling with the seamstress ("cheap, yes?" "normal price" "okay but... cheap?") which inevitably failed, although if she's as good as my aunt says it's worth the price.
Then the friend failed at turning up to meet Nadia for lunch despite arranging a time and place not fifteen minutes ago, so I convinced her to buy me crepes with strawberry jam. These did not fail, except for being tiny. Then my mum showed up and engaged Nadia in spirited conversation about how I should eat more fruit. I hinted that I'd kind of like to get home, since I had actually planned to.. you know, do things today.
"But there's a bookstore right there!" Mum coaxed. Why don't you go spend that twenty I gave you?"
Alas, I am easily persuaded. The store's fantasy/sf section failed at sensible layout, and then my mum wandered in, saw the book I was looking at and told me to just read it in the store instead of spending money. Mmm, tasty mixed messages. So I went "yeah what the hell" and sat there reading the book until a staff member politely informed me that I was blocking the shelves and they kinda had tables over there.
I had indeed failed to notice the tables neatly hidden behind the culinary shelves, so I thanked her and went to sit there and finish reading Colony by Rob Grant, who doesn't fail at anything at all, fond as he is of the deus ex machina. But I still think Incompetence is the funniest book he's ever written, and possibly the funniest book anyone has ever written.
While there I think I incidentally failed at noticing that a guy was trying to start a conversation until he'd already left. Then I failed at city navigation, not braining the dude on the bus next to me with my oversized and inconvenient bag, previously full of clothes, and doing any work for the rest of the day.
Let's just say that by the time my mum got home and dragged me to the gym only to find that pilates had been cancelled, I wasn't in a very good mood AT ALL. In fact, if I'd been an evil mastermind with access to a doomsday machine I would even now have Cyclops and the team manacled to my dungeon wall (in their skintight outfits... Professor X you old pervert) as I cackle manically and prepare to push the big red button OF DETH. I would then be tackled by Wolverine, who my henchmen had left for dead earlier in the night (never a good idea). Because who doesn't enjoy being tackled by Wolverine?
What was I saying? Right. Cranky. Rrr.
Yesterday my mother failed at getting dressed at all before coming to wake me up, BEFORE ELEVEN mind you, to tell me that I was meeting great aunt Nadia in the city in an hour or two to take some jackets to be altered, a development of which I had not previously been aware. So that didn't set the day up very nicely. Then my glasses mysteriously failed to show up, so I had to squint my way to said meeting while carrying a paper carry-bag which completely and utterly failed at being easy to actually, yaknow, carry... thanks to those rope handles that invariably dig into anything you suspend them by, be it the shoulder, elbow or fingers.
By the time I met my aunt, I'd gone right through "wah everything fails" and temporarily come out on the side of "lol everything fails" - I was then very amused to meet a friend of Nadia's and her grand-daughter who had... very visibly failed at not being dressed by elderly female relatives. I mean, poor girl, nobody deserves huge purple sequinned hand-me-downs. I started sliding back down sometime during my aunts pitiful haggling with the seamstress ("cheap, yes?" "normal price" "okay but... cheap?") which inevitably failed, although if she's as good as my aunt says it's worth the price.
Then the friend failed at turning up to meet Nadia for lunch despite arranging a time and place not fifteen minutes ago, so I convinced her to buy me crepes with strawberry jam. These did not fail, except for being tiny. Then my mum showed up and engaged Nadia in spirited conversation about how I should eat more fruit. I hinted that I'd kind of like to get home, since I had actually planned to.. you know, do things today.
"But there's a bookstore right there!" Mum coaxed. Why don't you go spend that twenty I gave you?"
Alas, I am easily persuaded. The store's fantasy/sf section failed at sensible layout, and then my mum wandered in, saw the book I was looking at and told me to just read it in the store instead of spending money. Mmm, tasty mixed messages. So I went "yeah what the hell" and sat there reading the book until a staff member politely informed me that I was blocking the shelves and they kinda had tables over there.
I had indeed failed to notice the tables neatly hidden behind the culinary shelves, so I thanked her and went to sit there and finish reading Colony by Rob Grant, who doesn't fail at anything at all, fond as he is of the deus ex machina. But I still think Incompetence is the funniest book he's ever written, and possibly the funniest book anyone has ever written.
While there I think I incidentally failed at noticing that a guy was trying to start a conversation until he'd already left. Then I failed at city navigation, not braining the dude on the bus next to me with my oversized and inconvenient bag, previously full of clothes, and doing any work for the rest of the day.
Let's just say that by the time my mum got home and dragged me to the gym only to find that pilates had been cancelled, I wasn't in a very good mood AT ALL. In fact, if I'd been an evil mastermind with access to a doomsday machine I would even now have Cyclops and the team manacled to my dungeon wall (in their skintight outfits... Professor X you old pervert) as I cackle manically and prepare to push the big red button OF DETH. I would then be tackled by Wolverine, who my henchmen had left for dead earlier in the night (never a good idea). Because who doesn't enjoy being tackled by Wolverine?
What was I saying? Right. Cranky. Rrr.
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