Books Insomnia Vincit (just woke up)

[bliumchik]

Argh. Five nights in a row. I cannot. fucking. sleep. Till like one am.

Because these thoughts won't get OUT of my HEAD and I have to distract myself by reading until i'm too tired and i'm not that tired until after midnight because I woke up late the day before due to falling asleep at one am that night for THE SAME REASON. Aaaaaaaaaaargh.

What is it about the subconscious that makes it do these things? just because you can't control it means it has to parade all your fucking insecurities and make-believe shit in front of your eyes whenever you're not concentrating on something else? Why won't it SHUT UP. and the things that almost happened or didn't happen or could have happened or should have happened or would have happened if or happened in a slightly different way or appeared to happen drown out the things that actually happened until you can't breathe and you have to go to a total unreality to escape the unreality which is so close to reality that the two blur and then you
are
screwed.

And to top it all off theres the dreams which borrow from all three and who knows what else and you forget them in the morning but the feeling stays with you and brings back the thoughts of the nght before and

fuck this, i'm gonna go sort out my shit for school.

Comments

[hellolamppost.livejournal.com]

I know exactly the feeling. Your title is clever.