The Truth As I See It

[bliumchik]

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Venerable Lady Maggie the Extemporaneous of Longer Interval Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My family is Russian-Jewish, so we have a bit of an odd approach to the festive season. Russian Orthodox Christians celebrate a kind of Christmas that most Australiand and Americans wouldn't recognise - it's not actually commercialised at all, it basically consists of mass and uh, mass. On the 7th of January, for some reason. Anyway, because nobody likes to feel left out, all that Christmas commercialisation had to be channeled into something - and it is. It's called New Year. It was probably invented because Uncle Stalin thought religion sucked cos it got in the way of people's brainwashing loyalty to the state. But you know you'd have a revolution if somebody actually banned Christmas.

So essentially, in Russia, on New Year's Eve: you have a pine tree. It's decorated. You can put a star on top and everything. You put presents under it. It's not called a Christmas tree. It's just called a Pine Tree. You also have a jolly fat man in a red suit, who hands out presents to good little boys and girls. He's not called Santa Claus. He's called Grandfather Frost. There's little additions, like the snow princess and whatnot, but basically it's the typical Aussie department store Christmas, only not for Christmas. It's for New Year.

This is awfully convenient for everyone concerned, because Christians can have their cake and eat it (We Don't Commercialise The Birth Of Our Saviour, Ho Ho Ho), and Jewish people can join in on the fun without feeling vaguely guilty about it. Cos, you know, it's not actually Christmas.

Which is a long rambling way to say I got my presents kind of spread out across Hanukkah/Christmas/New Year's Eve. And now I shall post a few photos of some cool presents!

Warning: Post contains Oscar Wilde poetry and zombies.

Firstly, a while ago I got a hand-me-down coat - a perk of having an aunt who was my size a few years ago. It had, for some reason, shoulder pads on, but my grandma removed them. And as part of my New Year? present from said grandparents, I got a white scarf. Which looks kind of like a cravat.


They totally match!

So, of course, I had to immediately take some Dandy pictures:

Do I not look quite the dashing nineteenth century lad?


I must declaim! "But surely it is something to have been
The best belovèd for a little while,
To have walked hand in hand with Love, and seen
His purple wings flit once across thy smile."


"Nay, if it be thy will I shall endure!"
Alternately:
"I wonder where I left my right stocking?"

I also got some nice boots from my great-aunt - I wore them on New Year's Eve, when it turned out that nice as they are they remain entirely unsuitable for tramping around Bondi in search of fireworks and cranberry juice.



Next up, we have my Secret Santa present from Ruxi. I didn't get that many clues from her, mostly because my adept wielding (wieldth?) of the process of elimination led me straight to her doorstep.

Me: Min, what's "fobby laa?"
Min: Uh... what?

Me: Ruxi, what's "fobby laa?"
Ruxi: ...damn, you decoded my clue!

Smooth, Ruxi. Very smooth. But I liked the gift - I requested zombie paraphernalia, and zombies I got! Although they appear to have gotten confused with their voodoo.



Isn't he adorable? With his beady little eyes and the pin attaching his felt heart to his body? He also has the same facial expression as Marvin the Paranoid Android. Observe:


He came with the following:

Very gruesome looking, innit?

And this:

Zombie. Directions: Up To You.

However, the keyring on his head is attached to some more explicit instructions on a little bit of plastic that wouldn't photograph very well, but says the following:

---

Zombie
Punishment Series
There is always somebody saying bad words in the absence of you to ruin your fame? Then just use me to seal the flunky's mouth and then fiercely stab me and see that if he dare to do this or not in the future.

---

As well as a small bell, presumably to warn birds of his lurching approach. I'd have thought that they could tell from the groans of "braaaaains," but then, his mouth is sewn shut.

Speaking of Marvin, and bad words are always said in the absence of him, I assure you, but he's probably too depressed to seal flunkies mouths with beady-eyed dolls: This is cool.

Comments

[lackofmendacity.livejournal.com]

coat and scarf are HOT! (or maybe it's just you *winks*)

did yo ujust come out of the shower, or has your hair gone REALLY curly?

zombie and voodoo related items are scary *cowers in fear*

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

My hair is always curly! It was probably a little damp.