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bliumchikToday my computer exploded due to an unlikely sequence of coincidences and dairy products. The epic tale unfolds forthwith (on my dad's slow and cluttered computer):
One Year Ago
Computer: Waaah I wanna new videocard WAAAH it's not compatible with your motherboard WAAAH I HATE YOU SIMS TWO YOU USE TOO MUCH ENERGY ;_; im gonna go overheat like a bitch in menopause now kthnx.
Me: Augh! *opens up case and scratches head*
Dad: Your computer appears to be running a high fever.
Me: Well, what do we do?!
Dad: ...boil eggs?
Me: *death glare*
Dad: Maybe we can replace the fan... *tinkers*
Computer: *sniffle*
Dad: ...oookay. Uh, look, my parents always gave me shit for doing industrial engineering instead of computer science... I actually have no clue what I'm doing. Here, have the little white electric fan we got that summer whenthe earth's magnetic poles reversed the cat kept melting. Since I can't find the side of the case you took off anyway, maybe this'll cool it down when you're playing The Sims 2.
Some Time Later
Me: I love staying up late and playing computer games where little people go all blurry and slap each other and make my video card hate me.
Fan: Whirrr.
Me: You know what would make this better?
Fan: Whirrr.
Me: A glass of milk! ^_^
Fan:I have a startling premonition I mean whirrrrr...
Me: *fetches milk*
Sims: Augh we're on fire we're ON FIRE.
Me: Augh!
Milk: Hey, watch where you're putting that- aw, crap. What was it now... Bonsaaai! No, Jumanjiii! No, damn... Aha! GERONIMOOOO!!
Fan: AAAAH-*splurt*
Computer Case: *is still open*
Me: Well, crap. *wipes things* Uh, that never happened.
This Morning
Mum: WAAAH I'M LATE FOR MY PHYSIO TIMMY'S ASLEEP YOGHURT'S ON THE TABLE DO YOUR HOMEWORK BYE NOW.
Me: Mmmhm.
Sims: We shall take over Pleasantville, one baby with a stupid name at a time!
Me: Moohahaha.
Computer: Oh, the heat!
Me: Try wearing a corset.
Fan: Whirrr.
Timmy: WAAAAH WANT MUM MUM WANT MUM MAGGIE MUM MUM MUM.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to comfort crying child*
Timmy: CARTOONS!
Me: Yeah alright.
Cartoons: *are boring as heck*
Me: *sneaks upstairs and switches Sims 2 back on*
Timmy: WAAAH WANT YOU TO WATCH CARTOONS WITH ME.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to watch small fugly bear put things together*
Timmy: Traaains!
Me: Oh look at that. Two metres of railroad track that don't fit together in any sort of way that involves trains not running off them. You can do this by yourself, right? *switches on computer*
Timmy: WAAAH WANT YOU TO PLAY TRAINS WITH ME.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to watch timmy stage terrible accidents during which Luckily Noone Was Hurt*
Timmy: POO.
Me: Okay, upstairs we go.
Timmy: GO AWAY WHILE I DO A POO.
Me: Okay, okay. *switches on computer*
Computer: Murrr-fzzt! *dies*
Me: ...the hell!? *pushes buttons*
Computer: I warned you, but would you listen? Noooo.
Me: Oh come on. Pleeease?
Computer: Nuh-uh. Not going nowhere.
Me: WHY IS THIS HOUSE FULL OF PETULANT CHILDREN.
This Afternoon
Mum: *returns, a few hours late* Hi darling, I got bread.
Me: RAR MAGGIE HUNGRY. ALSO FORGOT HOW TO CHANGE NAPPIES HELP.
Mum: ...oh look, a docket with vouchers. Why don't you g-
Me: GO GET PIZZA SURE BYE NOW.
Dad: Mmm, pizza. Guess what I did today at work? I constructed a total destruction emergency back-up system for the whole factory.
Me: Like... a zombie contingency plan?
Dad: In the event of total destruction of everything - press three.
Me: Speaking of which, my computer exploded.
Dad: ...itdidWHATNOW?
Me: My room smells burny...
Shortly Thereafter
Dad: *prods things with screwdriver*
Me: Is that smoke...?
Dad: What are all these white spots all over everything? And what's smoking every time I try to switch it on?
Me: ...waitasec...
Dad: Oh, it's the motherboard! ^_^
Me: Uh, you know what's nice? ...milk?
Dad: But how did it get THERE? that's... that's a VERTICAL SURFACE. Okay, and that shouldn't be glowing like that.
Me: Do you have a total destruction contingency plan for my computer?
Dad: No, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that your motherboard is toast. Heh, toast, burny, get it? Oh, it must have splashed on the fan and then the fan sort of blew the milk all over your computer's innards!
Me: How long till I can use it? *needs fix*
Dad: A month or two...
Me: WHAT.
Dad: Till the next computer fair. Unless you want to shell out for a non-bargain motherboard, seeing as you spilled milk.
Me: *cries*
One Year Ago
Computer: Waaah I wanna new videocard WAAAH it's not compatible with your motherboard WAAAH I HATE YOU SIMS TWO YOU USE TOO MUCH ENERGY ;_; im gonna go overheat like a bitch in menopause now kthnx.
Me: Augh! *opens up case and scratches head*
Dad: Your computer appears to be running a high fever.
Me: Well, what do we do?!
Dad: ...boil eggs?
Me: *death glare*
Dad: Maybe we can replace the fan... *tinkers*
Computer: *sniffle*
Dad: ...oookay. Uh, look, my parents always gave me shit for doing industrial engineering instead of computer science... I actually have no clue what I'm doing. Here, have the little white electric fan we got that summer when
Some Time Later
Me: I love staying up late and playing computer games where little people go all blurry and slap each other and make my video card hate me.
Fan: Whirrr.
Me: You know what would make this better?
Fan: Whirrr.
Me: A glass of milk! ^_^
Fan:
Me: *fetches milk*
Sims: Augh we're on fire we're ON FIRE.
Me: Augh!
Milk: Hey, watch where you're putting that- aw, crap. What was it now... Bonsaaai! No, Jumanjiii! No, damn... Aha! GERONIMOOOO!!
Fan: AAAAH-*splurt*
Computer Case: *is still open*
Me: Well, crap. *wipes things* Uh, that never happened.
This Morning
Mum: WAAAH I'M LATE FOR MY PHYSIO TIMMY'S ASLEEP YOGHURT'S ON THE TABLE DO YOUR HOMEWORK BYE NOW.
Me: Mmmhm.
Sims: We shall take over Pleasantville, one baby with a stupid name at a time!
Me: Moohahaha.
Computer: Oh, the heat!
Me: Try wearing a corset.
Fan: Whirrr.
Timmy: WAAAAH WANT MUM MUM WANT MUM MAGGIE MUM MUM MUM.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to comfort crying child*
Timmy: CARTOONS!
Me: Yeah alright.
Cartoons: *are boring as heck*
Me: *sneaks upstairs and switches Sims 2 back on*
Timmy: WAAAH WANT YOU TO WATCH CARTOONS WITH ME.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to watch small fugly bear put things together*
Timmy: Traaains!
Me: Oh look at that. Two metres of railroad track that don't fit together in any sort of way that involves trains not running off them. You can do this by yourself, right? *switches on computer*
Timmy: WAAAH WANT YOU TO PLAY TRAINS WITH ME.
Me: Aw crap. *hurriedly turns off computer and goes to watch timmy stage terrible accidents during which Luckily Noone Was Hurt*
Timmy: POO.
Me: Okay, upstairs we go.
Timmy: GO AWAY WHILE I DO A POO.
Me: Okay, okay. *switches on computer*
Computer: Murrr-fzzt! *dies*
Me: ...the hell!? *pushes buttons*
Computer: I warned you, but would you listen? Noooo.
Me: Oh come on. Pleeease?
Computer: Nuh-uh. Not going nowhere.
Me: WHY IS THIS HOUSE FULL OF PETULANT CHILDREN.
This Afternoon
Mum: *returns, a few hours late* Hi darling, I got bread.
Me: RAR MAGGIE HUNGRY. ALSO FORGOT HOW TO CHANGE NAPPIES HELP.
Mum: ...oh look, a docket with vouchers. Why don't you g-
Me: GO GET PIZZA SURE BYE NOW.
Dad: Mmm, pizza. Guess what I did today at work? I constructed a total destruction emergency back-up system for the whole factory.
Me: Like... a zombie contingency plan?
Dad: In the event of total destruction of everything - press three.
Me: Speaking of which, my computer exploded.
Dad: ...itdidWHATNOW?
Me: My room smells burny...
Shortly Thereafter
Dad: *prods things with screwdriver*
Me: Is that smoke...?
Dad: What are all these white spots all over everything? And what's smoking every time I try to switch it on?
Me: ...waitasec...
Dad: Oh, it's the motherboard! ^_^
Me: Uh, you know what's nice? ...milk?
Dad: But how did it get THERE? that's... that's a VERTICAL SURFACE. Okay, and that shouldn't be glowing like that.
Me: Do you have a total destruction contingency plan for my computer?
Dad: No, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that your motherboard is toast. Heh, toast, burny, get it? Oh, it must have splashed on the fan and then the fan sort of blew the milk all over your computer's innards!
Me: How long till I can use it? *needs fix*
Dad: A month or two...
Me: WHAT.
Dad: Till the next computer fair. Unless you want to shell out for a non-bargain motherboard, seeing as you spilled milk.
Me: *cries*
