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bliumchikWith our Major Production finally over and done with, and the term nearly finished, it was, of course, clean-up time. Ms Surbey was particularly screechy about getting the stuff we borrowed from Kingcoppal dry-cleaned and returned, and hadn't managed to do it on the last night even though we left it outside the back room in a nice big pile. ...which promptly got dumped in the back room by Art Expo people.
Cut to drama, Thursday morning, after camp and the Big Damn Excursion (which will also be written about). Ms Surbey strongly abjures us to SORT OUT THE BACK ROOM ESPECIALLY THE DRYCLEANING ROOOAR. So Zoe and I say we'll go at recess.
Oh, ho ho ho. That place didn't just look like a bomb hit it - it looked like a BIG DAMN ASTEROID hit it. We took one look at it and went
O.O
How about lunchtime? Yeeeah.
When I got there at lunchtime, Zoe was conveniently missing (later turned out to have gone home because she thought the hall was occupied by science people, pssssh), but Poppy offered to help out, so into the Dragon's Lair we went. We decided the best we could do that lunchtime was to haul all the Kingcoppal stuff outside. This we did, and I marked it all off on my leetle checklist. In the process the floor became... er, remained, covered in all sorts of junk, although it did sort of get spread around a bit. Poppy got tangled up in part of Chloe's cinderella-dress - the bit with all the layers of gauze. She looked like cousin it, except... er, gauze, instead of hair. So... no really very much like cousin it. Man, does anybody remember the Addams Family? I barely do. My little brother will probably never get any of these references when he grows up. He'll be all like "Cousin Who?" And I'll be like, no, that's the Doctor, and he'll be like "what?" and I'll say "Second base" and he'll look confuzzled and go play play with his Virtual Reality game.
Anyway. After we had more or less two piles (drycleaning and not) we just sort of stood there and marvelled at the sheer chaos that was the back room. There was a trolley full of junk that we hadn't put there, and therefore must belong to Year Twelve, and the floor was... well, let me put it this way - what floor? Definitely beats my room. Poppy started messing around with the make-up table (shhh) and found a bottle of champagne (we were like "oooh" until we realised it was nonalcoholic... damn. Must be a prop), The Bubblewrap (couldn't find scissors, so Poppy tore some off with her teeth... well, bubblewrap!) and also a little vial of fake blood that I'd previously encountered. Testing showed that it does not in fact provide the "gory wound effect" advertised on the label, but rather makes your skin blush like you've scraped it against a wall. Not that I'd expect much from a bottle whose ingredients include "food dies". I suppose we're lucky "Drink Me" didn't feature anywhere.
I made a sign that said:
DO NOT TOUCH unless you are Ms Surbey ON LOAN FROM KINGCOPPAL ON PAIN OF DETH this means you, ickle year nines drycleaning ---->
Then the next lesson the whole class cleared up the rest of the room. Everything got coathangered and stuff - and hey, who knew we had floorboards? Also more make-up ransacking happened, and Zoe marked my face with military-style camoflage green facepaint. So basically I looked like the back room had really fought back. It would have been hilarious to walk out of there like that and drunk. Alas, grape juice! I wonder if anyone ever uses that fake beard we have there? Certainly nobody's used the fake bald scalps for a while, since when two peopl tried to open it up it tore. Lots. It died of old age, which is sort of ironic.
The final point of interest: I brought in a miniature ironing board for the play. It proved useful, and now it was time for me to take it home. But when we lifted a pile of Frocks Dresses Nice Good off it...
THERE WERE TWO OF THEM.
I kid you not. My ironing board multiplied. The new one was even all wrapped up in plastic. I went "buh?" and everyone insisted that I'd brought in two in the first place. They could have been playing a very elaborate hoax on me, but... but... and IDENTICAL IRONING BOARD? Where would they even... and WHY... this would be like the toilet seat incident all over again. So the only rational explanation is that my ironing board ate a bunch of our coathangers and then underwent mitosis. All this time it's just been waiting, waiting to be deposited into an appropriate nest (read: pile of clothes) so it could begin SPREADING. WE WILL BE OVER-RUN BY HORDES OF SMALL PASTEL IRONING BOARDS BRANDISHING THEIR CONVENIENT HOOKS AT US FROM THE DEPTHS OF OUR CLOSETS why are you looking at me like that.
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Cut to drama, Thursday morning, after camp and the Big Damn Excursion (which will also be written about). Ms Surbey strongly abjures us to SORT OUT THE BACK ROOM ESPECIALLY THE DRYCLEANING ROOOAR. So Zoe and I say we'll go at recess.
Oh, ho ho ho. That place didn't just look like a bomb hit it - it looked like a BIG DAMN ASTEROID hit it. We took one look at it and went
O.O
How about lunchtime? Yeeeah.
When I got there at lunchtime, Zoe was conveniently missing (later turned out to have gone home because she thought the hall was occupied by science people, pssssh), but Poppy offered to help out, so into the Dragon's Lair we went. We decided the best we could do that lunchtime was to haul all the Kingcoppal stuff outside. This we did, and I marked it all off on my leetle checklist. In the process the floor became... er, remained, covered in all sorts of junk, although it did sort of get spread around a bit. Poppy got tangled up in part of Chloe's cinderella-dress - the bit with all the layers of gauze. She looked like cousin it, except... er, gauze, instead of hair. So... no really very much like cousin it. Man, does anybody remember the Addams Family? I barely do. My little brother will probably never get any of these references when he grows up. He'll be all like "Cousin Who?" And I'll be like, no, that's the Doctor, and he'll be like "what?" and I'll say "Second base" and he'll look confuzzled and go play play with his Virtual Reality game.
Anyway. After we had more or less two piles (drycleaning and not) we just sort of stood there and marvelled at the sheer chaos that was the back room. There was a trolley full of junk that we hadn't put there, and therefore must belong to Year Twelve, and the floor was... well, let me put it this way - what floor? Definitely beats my room. Poppy started messing around with the make-up table (shhh) and found a bottle of champagne (we were like "oooh" until we realised it was nonalcoholic... damn. Must be a prop), The Bubblewrap (couldn't find scissors, so Poppy tore some off with her teeth... well, bubblewrap!) and also a little vial of fake blood that I'd previously encountered. Testing showed that it does not in fact provide the "gory wound effect" advertised on the label, but rather makes your skin blush like you've scraped it against a wall. Not that I'd expect much from a bottle whose ingredients include "food dies". I suppose we're lucky "Drink Me" didn't feature anywhere.
I made a sign that said:
DO NOT TOUCH unless you are Ms Surbey ON LOAN FROM KINGCOPPAL ON PAIN OF DETH this means you, ickle year nines drycleaning ---->
Then the next lesson the whole class cleared up the rest of the room. Everything got coathangered and stuff - and hey, who knew we had floorboards? Also more make-up ransacking happened, and Zoe marked my face with military-style camoflage green facepaint. So basically I looked like the back room had really fought back. It would have been hilarious to walk out of there like that and drunk. Alas, grape juice! I wonder if anyone ever uses that fake beard we have there? Certainly nobody's used the fake bald scalps for a while, since when two peopl tried to open it up it tore. Lots. It died of old age, which is sort of ironic.
The final point of interest: I brought in a miniature ironing board for the play. It proved useful, and now it was time for me to take it home. But when we lifted a pile of Frocks Dresses Nice Good off it...
THERE WERE TWO OF THEM.
I kid you not. My ironing board multiplied. The new one was even all wrapped up in plastic. I went "buh?" and everyone insisted that I'd brought in two in the first place. They could have been playing a very elaborate hoax on me, but... but... and IDENTICAL IRONING BOARD? Where would they even... and WHY... this would be like the toilet seat incident all over again. So the only rational explanation is that my ironing board ate a bunch of our coathangers and then underwent mitosis. All this time it's just been waiting, waiting to be deposited into an appropriate nest (read: pile of clothes) so it could begin SPREADING. WE WILL BE OVER-RUN BY HORDES OF SMALL PASTEL IRONING BOARDS BRANDISHING THEIR CONVENIENT HOOKS AT US FROM THE DEPTHS OF OUR CLOSETS why are you looking at me like that.
I died in the Dungeon of Maggiebloome
I was killed in a cavernous cave by Tryx the giant spider, whilst carrying...
the Sword of Your Rocket, the Amulet of Velvetblood Fic, the Crown of Palmer Kun, the Wand of Erksome, a Figurine of Emoawards and 116 gold pieces.
Score: 133
Explore the Dungeon of Maggiebloome and try to beat this score,or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-26 02:16 pm (UTC)I died in the Dungeon of Maggiebloome
I was killed in a brick-walled anteroom by Welovecooke the cockatrice, whilst carrying...
the Axe of Artsangel, the Sword of Acting, the Crown of Evilfuzzymonste, a Figurine of Arborwin, a Figurine of Smuu, the Armour of Cadhla, the Dagger of Punktuation, the Amulet of Random Miha, the Armour of Newnumber6, the Amulet of Velvetblood Fic, the Shield of Impertinence, the Sword of Your Rocket, the Axe of Cheekbones, the Wand of Erksome, a Figurine of Emoawards and 48 gold pieces.
Score: 161
Explore the Dungeon of Maggiebloome (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/dungeon?user=maggiebloome) and try to beat this score,or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...
no subject
Date: 2006-06-27 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-27 07:18 am (UTC)...and, once again, WTF?
no subject
Date: 2006-06-27 06:22 am (UTC)I died in the Dungeon of Maggiebloome
I was killed in a sloping chamber by Active Apathy the orc, whilst carrying...
the Axe of Villainny, a Figurine of Emoawards, the Wand of Erksome, the Sword of Your Rocket, the Shield of Impertinence, the Axe of Artsangel, a Figurine of Arborwin, the Crown of Evilfuzzymonste, the Sword of Acting and 50 gold pieces.
Score: 112
Explore the Dungeon of Maggiebloome (http://thesurrealist.co.uk/dungeon?user=maggiebloome) and try to beat this score,or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...