A Decidedly Odd Weekend

[bliumchik]

Gorrammit, the computer ate my entry. Well, anyway, here's a bunny with a pancake on its head list of bizarre events:

1. I was rudely awoken at 7am by a flock of parrots alighting noisily on a branch outside my window for no readily apparant reason. I thought they were supposed to be flying north for the winter? NORTH, DAMMIT.

2. Thanks to the aforementioned PARROTS OF DOOM waking me a little bit every time I started to drift off, I spent the next three hours in a semi-conscious haze, and had one of my characteristic weird-ass sciffy dreams. There was a bunch of people who had the "Sleepy Sickness" from Sandman, except they were also stuck in VR a la Tad Williams. Me and the Big Bad Wolf had to find a bunch of other people for an Epic Quest to save them, and for some reason I was an African man with weird green tubes in my hair. Anyway, we went to a grocery store,s where we got odd loks, so we pretended to be on our honeymoon. Then I got shipwrecked on an island inhabited by hillbillies who refused to feed me. A kid gave me a slice of bread for an American dollar, though. Then I found a net full of meat hanging from some trees and jumped up to try and reach some, but my arms were really heavy. There was a guy sitting on the net taunting me, but then he turned out to be the hilbillies grandfather and invited me to dinner. Halfway through the meal, I saw a steamboat coming towards the island, so I apologised profusely in Russian and ran down to the beach, where I met a man on a bicycle and his uber-jealous girlfriend, and then I woke up properly.

3. On the bus to Avi's house, I encountered a teenage goth punk... in the body of a sixtyfive-year-old man. He was wearing black tights, a black and white polka dotted skirt, a black leotard type thing with safety pins in it, a black leather jacket and glove (singular), sliver rings, a black fuzzy hat with a black feather in it, long dangly faux-pearl earrings, and he had black face-paint stripes on his face and hands (which looked very odd over the old-people veins). Also a pink umbrella. There was a stodgy businessman type across the asile whose head kept sort-of turning and then whipping back like a typewriter (I'MNOTLOOKINGNOTLOOKING) and the old guy was staring at him like "You wanna take me on, huh? Huh?" and I was trying hard not to giggle. Then I went up to the old punk and asked if he was going to a costume party, but he said "just be yourself man, you know?" and mumbld a bit, so I sadly smiled and nodded and went on my way. It would have been really awesome if he was perfectly sane. It'd be like cadhla and her Glinda dress. Though I suppose people accept that sort of thing more readily from young blonde chicks than bald old men.

4. At the park, Avi and I were repeatedly barked at by the reincarnation of Robespierre. It was a very small terrier that barked as though it was giving a rabble-rousing speech - it kept turning its head and doing the Look: "I'm talking to you! Are we going to stand for this injustice? Death to the Establishment!"

5. This morning I sold bread to a walrus. YA RLY. The guy had this wispy mustache that reached down to his chin. He could've strained his soup with it!

Also, the slicer bit me again. And hopefully this entry won't be eaten AGAIN. rar.

Comments

[azdesertrose.livejournal.com]

Funny that you encountered the sixty-five-year-old goth teen punk creature. I went to the supermarket this evening and saw a woman of at least forty years of age dressed like a cross between Gwen Stefani when she was still with No Doubt and early Madonna.

Truth is stranger than fiction, I swear.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! I'm so pissed at whoever made "unreal" mean "cool" cos now there isn't a word for unreal...