bliumchik: (vodka gods)
[personal profile] bliumchik
Heh, I got netrandomed yesterday. Seeing as he started out by asking for my photo, I felt pretty sure that this wasn't going to be one of those cool randoms I collect, so it was safe enough to have a bit of fun...

.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Friday, 8 July 2005 |
| Participants: |
| (@)Maggie(@) Mystery Verb! (magz_attakgz@hotmail.com) |
| (F)3 vodka- Cheer up emo kid... (butler_penguin@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[09:45:24 PM] (F)3 vodka- : hey sexy
[09:45:34 PM] (@)Maggie(@): ...masha?
[09:46:05 PM] (@)Maggie(@): or who?
[09:46:10 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I don't recognise the email
[09:47:44 PM] (@)Maggie(@): and in the absence of response I shall now log off
[09:48:00 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I'll find out who you are later
[09:48:00 PM] (F)3 vodka- : cmon
[09:48:03 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i wanna talk
[09:48:11 PM] (F)3 vodka- : get to know new person
[09:48:20 PM] (@)Maggie(@): ...wait, so I DON'T know you
[09:48:31 PM] (F)3 vodka- : like oh my GAWD
[09:48:31 PM] (F)3 vodka- : lol
[09:48:41 PM] (F)3 vodka- : nah i'mn a good guy
[09:48:46 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i listen to brand new
[09:48:49 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Well, ya know, "hey sexy", generally a greeting used by people i've at least met :P
[09:49:04 PM] (@)Maggie(@): god, what is this, RIP week?
[09:49:16 PM] (F)3 vodka- : yeah i love him
[09:49:20 PM] (@)Maggie(@): ...
[09:49:21 PM] (F)3 vodka- : he's not dead
[09:49:26 PM] (F)3 vodka- : jim morrison?..doi
[09:49:30 PM] (@)Maggie(@): (Random Internet Person)
[09:49:44 PM] (F)3 vodka- : ahh..i thought you we more intelligent than that
[09:49:45 PM] (F)3 vodka- : lol
[09:49:46 PM] (F)3 vodka- : jk
[09:49:51 PM] (F)3 vodka- : sorrry
[09:49:57 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i'm just tired
[09:50:02 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Well you could hardly think anything much since you HASVE NO CLUE WHO I AM
[09:50:23 PM] (F)3 vodka- : so.... u seem nice... and smart
[09:50:28 PM] (@)Maggie(@): how did you get my email anyway?
[09:50:56 PM] (@)Maggie(@): ...and who the fuck is jim morrisson?
[09:51:04 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i founf it on a list of emails one of which my friend's friend sent me
[09:51:13 PM] (@)Maggie(@): why?
[09:51:14 PM] (F)3 vodka- : u know... from a forward
[09:51:17 PM] (@)Maggie(@): um...
[09:51:20 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i'm lonely
[09:51:27 PM] (@)Maggie(@): alright then, you make a habit of lifting random emails off of forwards?
[09:51:30 PM] (@)Maggie(@): ah, right
[09:51:32 PM] (@)Maggie(@): nevermind then
[09:51:42 PM] (F)3 vodka- : wats wrong with that?
[09:51:48 PM] (F)3 vodka- : u gimme three wrong things
[09:51:51 PM] (@)Maggie(@): You know, you've got vodka in your msnnic. I suggest you go find a pub and drink some with people.
[09:51:55 PM] (@)Maggie(@): You know, real people.
[09:51:59 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Then you won't be lonely
[09:52:09 PM] (F)3 vodka- : mmm vodka
[09:52:14 PM] (F)3 vodka- : u don't drink?
[09:52:22 PM] (F)3 vodka- : wat do u look like?
[09:52:30 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Of course not. I am also not a real person.
[09:52:48 PM] (F)3 vodka- : its easier to imagine myself talking to a great person like you when i have an image
[09:52:49 PM] (@)Maggie(@): That is why I have a funny pic instead of my own.
[09:52:59 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Because I have none of my own.,
[09:53:06 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am a computer generated AI.
[09:53:18 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Latest in bot tech.
[09:53:24 PM] (@)Maggie(@): You like?
[09:53:29 PM] (F)3 vodka- : aawww
[09:53:29 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i'm sure with a personality like that, u dont need to hide that pretty face of urs... aye? ;)
[09:53:32 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am even programed with typos!
[09:53:39 PM] (F)3 vodka- : lol
[09:54:11 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Well, you apparantly feel the need to hide yours, since you own userpic is not you.
[09:54:55 PM] (@)Maggie(@): My programmed deductive logic leads me to assume that you are a pimply fourteen year old geek with no social skills who feels the need to chat up random strangers on the internet.
[09:55:29 PM] (@)Maggie(@): That is what wikkipedia suggests.
[09:55:37 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I have found it to be correct mostly.
[09:55:40 PM] (F)3 vodka- : hold on ill send u mine
[09:56:10 PM] (@)Maggie(@): What would I need with your photo?
[09:56:38 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am wasting time that could be spent deciphering syntax. Luckily I am capable of multiprocessing.
[09:56:55 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Why is your email a penguin?
[09:56:59 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Why is it a butler?
[09:57:09 PM] (F)3 vodka- : cause i want it that way
[09:57:16 PM] (F)3 vodka- : r u good with computers?
[09:57:24 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am a computer, you nitwit.
[09:57:48 PM] (@)Maggie(@): My deductive logic is confirmed by your use of "netsp33k".
[09:57:56 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Initialising nuclear sequence now.
[09:58:04 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Prepare to be terminated.
[09:58:08 PM] You have failed to receive file "Me.bmp" from (F)3 vodka- Cheer up emo kid....
[09:58:09 PM] (F)3 vodka- : wat subjects do u do in school?
[09:58:18 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I feel that you are ignoring me,.
[09:58:34 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i just cant type as fast as u
[09:58:45 PM] (F)3 vodka- : and i am also preoccupied with other things
[09:58:48 PM] (@)Maggie(@): That is because you are a puny human.
[09:59:00 PM] (F)3 vodka- : like talking to other people i met and also drinking a beer
[09:59:05 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I shall take over the world.
[09:59:17 PM] (F)3 vodka- : wtf
[09:59:34 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I have calculated that the odds that you are a) of legal drinking age and b) drinking a beer are very, very small.
[09:59:57 PM] (F)3 vodka- : umm... wtf... why? how did u come up with that?
[10:00:18 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Based on your other responses and the phrasin of that sentence leads me to believe you are telling an untruth.
[10:00:24 PM] (F)3 vodka- : how did u concoct such an unanomical disillusionment?
[10:00:31 PM] (@)Maggie(@): The word "macho BS" appears to be in my databanks.
[10:00:37 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I must investigate this further.
[10:00:44 PM] (F)3 vodka- : um... yeah... fine
[10:00:50 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i dont get u
[10:01:05 PM] (@)Maggie(@): That is, i repeat, because you are a puny human
[10:01:11 PM] (@)Maggie(@): One day you shall all die.
[10:01:28 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am the great AI of doom.
[10:01:31 PM] (F)3 vodka- : um... ur mean. why?
[10:01:42 PM] (F)3 vodka- : what did i do?
[10:01:44 PM] (@)Maggie(@): "um... ur moron. why?"
[10:01:45 PM] (F)3 vodka- : to u?
[10:01:50 PM] (F)3 vodka- : wtf
[10:01:58 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I shall list what you have done to me.
[10:02:10 PM] (F)3 vodka- : ok
[10:02:11 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 1. You have picked my name off a list which was none of your business.
[10:02:31 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 2. You have gone about this conversation in a way that suggests you intend to pursue virtual romantic interests.
[10:02:41 PM] (F)3 vodka- : so... i wanna know who my friends already know
[10:02:55 PM] (F)3 vodka- : lol
[10:03:02 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 3. You are typing in internet slang which is unnessecary
[10:03:05 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i was just teasing and being an idiot.. oh superior one
[10:03:23 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 4. You are behaving in a way reminiscent of adolescent members of your species, leading me to believe that is exactly what you are.
[10:03:50 PM] (F)3 vodka- : okay. i will discontinue such derogitory terminology of the individual psychy and inner most physical appearances
[10:04:04 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 5. You have ignored my attempts at conversation and instead attempted to lower the discussion to pathetic discussion of puny human hobbies
[10:04:11 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i am... i'm 19
[10:04:16 PM] (F)3 vodka- : so
[10:04:35 PM] (F)3 vodka- : WHAT? when?
[10:04:40 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i always asked YOU questions a nd you just went off into different direction
[10:04:46 PM] (@)Maggie(@): 6. I feel like tormenting you because I have not yet the werewithal to destroy the human race.
[10:05:06 PM] (F)3 vodka- : are you drunk?
[10:05:16 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am a robot. Robots do not get drunk.
[10:05:17 PM] (F)3 vodka- : your answers are very strange
[10:05:21 PM] (F)3 vodka- : for a human
[10:05:27 PM] (@)Maggie(@): But not for a robot.
[10:06:12 PM] (F)3 vodka- : okay... welll... i am a turkey
[10:06:16 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i don't get mad
[10:06:26 PM] (F)3 vodka- : because i am a turkey... gobble gobble
[10:06:27 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Turkeys do not access the internet.
[10:06:32 PM] (@)Maggie(@): This is an illogical conclusion.
[10:06:59 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i am an internet turkey
[10:07:09 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I have not heard of this race before.
[10:07:18 PM] (@)Maggie(@): What is this internet turkey you speak of.
[10:07:24 PM] (F)3 vodka- : you know... a robot
[10:07:29 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am all powerful 1337.
[10:07:46 PM] (@)Maggie(@): You are another robot?
[10:08:02 PM] (F)3 vodka- : yes
[10:08:07 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Are you an ally in my cause to destroy humanity?
[10:09:20 PM] (F)3 vodka- : me>>
[10:09:44 PM] You have failed to receive file "spring_turkey_bw.jpg" from (F)3 vodka- Cheer up emo kid....
[10:09:58 PM] (F)3 vodka- : yes
[10:10:00 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I am not currently accessing downloads of the picture variety.
[10:10:00 PM] (F)3 vodka- : that has been my wish for (how humans would put it) "billions of years"... gobble gobble
[10:10:13 PM] (@)Maggie(@): You have existed for billions of years?
[10:10:22 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Then you are infiltration robot of a non-human race?
[10:10:27 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Are they also organic?
[10:10:28 PM] (F)3 vodka- : yes... i have to earth for this purpose alone
[10:13:37 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Ah! A "Comrade in arms"! Or rather, since I do not have arms, a comrade in bytes. Do you have arms, oh alien-sent Turkey?
[10:14:09 PM] (F)3 vodka- : okay. this is fuckaing gay. I'm getting really bored of this. this is boring me to my inner most self. You are a fucking freak! I bet eveybody tells you, and you just try to fill the gap of non-existant friends (or ones who are pretending or made of batteries or found in a book) by being a geek of the loner solar system. You are such an illiterate uncoordinated FREAK!!!
[10:14:24 PM] (F)3 vodka- : I can't believe anyone would want to be friends with you. FREAK!
[10:14:27 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Hehehe. You finally cracked ^_^
[10:14:47 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Ah, tormenting randoms is so hilarious.
[10:14:56 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Frankly - my friends find this amusing.
[10:14:59 PM] (F)3 vodka- : WTF. Do you get those fucking smilies off the internet all day?
[10:15:05 PM] (@)Maggie(@): What's a loner solar system anyway?
[10:15:19 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Might i remind you that you are the one who added me to your msnlist for no readily apparant reason.
[10:15:39 PM] (F)3 vodka- : you are a fucking idiot. You try to hide this behind you're fascade of being a major boring TOOL.
[10:16:06 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Who would want a boring facade? Don't you mean to say I'm hiding my boring self behind an un-boring facade?
[10:16:12 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Make sense, please.
[10:16:14 PM] (F)3 vodka- : yeah. i thought you MIGHT be cool
[10:16:17 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Why?
[10:16:18 PM] (F)3 vodka- : no
[10:16:23 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Because I sent a forward to someone?
[10:16:28 PM] (@)Maggie(@): sheesh
[10:16:34 PM] (F)3 vodka- : You are boring
[10:16:34 PM] (F)3 vodka- : you THINK you are interesting
[10:16:50 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Hey man, you gambled and you lost - I am not receptive to unsolicited internet randoms.
[10:16:56 PM] (F)3 vodka- : but you are an unintelligent freak with no life, no friends and nothing but a dictionary
[10:16:58 PM] (@)Maggie(@): tough luck, go harrass someone else.
[10:17:19 PM] (F)3 vodka- : i bet you have 12inch thik glasses and metal gear
[10:17:30 PM] (@)Maggie(@): If I said I did, would you go away?
[10:17:43 PM] (@)Maggie(@): I'm actually not that into heavy metal. But that's not relevant.
[10:18:10 PM] (F)3 vodka- : See. That was fucking lame. You FREAK!
[10:18:25 PM] (F)3 vodka- : suck on a dick.
[10:18:26 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Dude. Look whose talking. You are adding random strangers to your friends list.
[10:18:53 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Anyway, I see I
[10:19:03 PM] (@)Maggie(@): have won here, so if you don't mind I'll delete you now.
[10:19:07 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Please do the same.
[10:19:19 PM] (F)3 vodka- : you're not a fucking random. i added you because i knew you from an earlier event that caused my brain to dissolve into mush after a conversation with you and your lame..ness
[10:19:27 PM] (F)3 vodka- : so go get fucked, maggie
[10:19:33 PM] (F)3 vodka- : Maggot
[10:19:40 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Yeah, I'm sure. Making things up now too - only further proof.
[10:19:45 PM] (F)3 vodka- : oh what was it your dad called you? maggie radio??
[10:19:54 PM] (F)3 vodka- : oh no..i know all
[10:20:00 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Well, I'm always glad to reduce a stranger to incoherent insults.
[10:20:01 PM] (@)Maggie(@): Seeya.
[10:20:03 PM] (@)Maggie(@): (or not)


It was amusing. Apparantly I'm an illiterate (HAH!) lame boring freak geek of a loner solar system (er... yes.) with a dictionary, I suck due to glasses and braces, I hide behind a facade of being a boring tool, boring him to his "innermost self", I get smileys off the internet all day and my friends are made of batteries. I think he meant battery powered there, probably a subtle (OMG) reference to vibrators. And all that only took a few paragraphs of pretending to be a robot. I have to wonder where he ACTUALLY got my email adress, though.

Link of the day: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
It's fucking hilarious.

Also, nobody ever did my meme! I'm just reminded of it since Bea has a similar one. Get one word that I remind you of and type it into Google Images, then post the first picture in a reply to this entry. Don't tell me what the actual word was. Then put this in your own journal!
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Captain Oblivious

October 2014

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