Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Fail.
Oct. 8th, 2007 09:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bliumchikI'm officially in love with these socks. They are so very awesome. I need more giant stripy socks.
So Jess has been planning a surprise birthday party for Stan for a while. Unfortunately she never really got past Stage 1: Make a Facebook Event, Location/Time to Be Announced. So at about eleven thirty on Saturday morning, while I was at the gym with my mum, I got an sms from Lizka, exhorting me to show up in pirate gear at six, yarr. ocrap, says I, I have yet to buy a present. So off I trotted, in my trackies and unwashed hair, to wander around Maroubra in search of a present. I wanted it to be original (also I had no money), so I started with the op shops. However, I also wanted it to be not lame, and since the best Maroubra Junction had to offer was a plunger1 and a leetle buddha statue I gave up and caught a bus to Eastgardens. I shall not divulge the identity of the present I bought there, for reasons to be revealed.
Six on the dot I showed up at Alex's house in my floppy green skirt, boots, the aforementioned socks, a bright red jacket and the prerequisite bandanna, as well as my trusty Sword Of Gryffindor, successfully re-hilted using two large hair clips and a generous application of pure genius. Liza and Alex were similarly pirated up, in Alex's case with astonishingly Depp-like eye makeup and braids. Also, for some reason, fishnet stockings. After a few false starts in which we lost Alex on the way to the door, we all piled into Liza's car and prayed that the petrol tank would hold out. Halfway to our next stop I realised that I'd managed to leave my handbag and Stan's birthday present at Alex's house, but the fuel meter was blinking nervously so we wisely decided that we could do without. This proved fortuitous as Stan's mother turns out to subscribe to that odd Russian prejudice against celebrating someone's birthday before the actual day comes around, so I couldn't have given him the thing anyway.
We picked up Laivi, who was a pirate only in spirit - to make up for his lack of appropriate attire he insisted on refueling Liza's car only if asked in the appropriate pirately fashion. So we threatened to keelhaul him. It turned out, when we finally reached Stan's house, that absolutely none of the boys had made any sort of effort towards dressing for the theme2. We than hung around outside waiting for Jess to arrive. The wait had a farcical quality to it in that I was pretty sure that Stan knew we were there, and Liza was convinced that Jess drove so slowly that she wouldn't be there for another fifteen minutes, and then it started raining.
Jess, however, did eventually show, and with a big coat and a bandanna to boot, so all was not lost. After some laughable attempts at subterfuge and a desperate warning not to say "happy birthday" at any point, we all piled into Stan's house brandishing our swords and yelling "Yarr!"3 We then ordered pizza (although by rights we should have captured and hijacked it) and a good time was had by all. Sadly there was no rum.
Eventually I got tired and boarded Toly's car for a lift home. Here the fail began. You will recall that my handbag, containing among other things such necessary items as my mobile phone and my house keys, remained in Alex's bedroom. Toly offered me the use of his mobile to call my parents, but I foolishly declined on the grounds that it was like ten and they were probably home. Oh, but when is life ever that simple for Captain Oblivious? No, as it transpired after he drove away (taking with him, incidentally, my tin foil sword, which I had forgotten in his car... I'm sensing a pattern4), they were not, in fact, as it were, at home. So here I, keyless and phoneless, had several options. The first was to walk to Alex's and demand the return of mybooty handbag. Unfortunately her house was entirely dark and apparently abandoned (or, you know, they were all asleep...) so, cursing merrily all the way, I stomped back to my house. These boots, incidentally, were made for stomping. I also got a funny look from some randoms in the street, so it was probably a good thing that I wasn't waving my sword around.
This left me with two possible courses of action - to attempt to break in, or to find a friendly domicile in which to demandsanctuary phone usage. I proceeded to hoist myself over the front gate (in skirts, may I add) and wander quietly into my backyard, hoping the back door was unlocked. It was not. Contemplating the possibility of having to walk all the way to Jenny's house (and how she, or more to the point her mother, would react to my turning up on her doorstep at ten thirty in the evening in pirate gear I dare not guess), I decided to try my luck with the neighbours. Luckily the bloke at number one (whose name turned out to be Andy) was downstairs watching TV. I sheepishly explained my predicament, and successfully commandeered the use of his phone. My parents, fortuitously, turned out to be "five minutes from leaving" my grandparents house. This meant anywhere between ten and twenty five minutes of dawdling, which I did not wish to spend on my own doorstep in the cold, so I ended up sitting on a tiny chair and watching the end of Red-Eye and a bit of soccer with Andy, whose brother and cousin variously wandered downstairs, raised eyebrows at me, and said nothing. Ah, Asian taciturn...ity. Always a boon to the functioning social phobic.
At last my parents docked and let me in, and no more was said of the whole endeavour. Oh shit, I still have to go get my stuff from Alex...
1 Many years ago, also by some strange coincidence on Stan's birthday, Certain People (by which I mean Toly) engaged in a spot of dog baiting (Stan's puppy is so neurotic, nobody can resist) using a plastic plunger. No dogs were harmed in the course of this pursuit, but the implement in question snapped in half. So really we owe Stan a plunger.
2 Lame.
3 Well, I brandished my sword. See footnote two.
4 Not to worry. He can pillage it for his collection of tin foil hats.
So Jess has been planning a surprise birthday party for Stan for a while. Unfortunately she never really got past Stage 1: Make a Facebook Event, Location/Time to Be Announced. So at about eleven thirty on Saturday morning, while I was at the gym with my mum, I got an sms from Lizka, exhorting me to show up in pirate gear at six, yarr. ocrap, says I, I have yet to buy a present. So off I trotted, in my trackies and unwashed hair, to wander around Maroubra in search of a present. I wanted it to be original (also I had no money), so I started with the op shops. However, I also wanted it to be not lame, and since the best Maroubra Junction had to offer was a plunger1 and a leetle buddha statue I gave up and caught a bus to Eastgardens. I shall not divulge the identity of the present I bought there, for reasons to be revealed.
Six on the dot I showed up at Alex's house in my floppy green skirt, boots, the aforementioned socks, a bright red jacket and the prerequisite bandanna, as well as my trusty Sword Of Gryffindor, successfully re-hilted using two large hair clips and a generous application of pure genius. Liza and Alex were similarly pirated up, in Alex's case with astonishingly Depp-like eye makeup and braids. Also, for some reason, fishnet stockings. After a few false starts in which we lost Alex on the way to the door, we all piled into Liza's car and prayed that the petrol tank would hold out. Halfway to our next stop I realised that I'd managed to leave my handbag and Stan's birthday present at Alex's house, but the fuel meter was blinking nervously so we wisely decided that we could do without. This proved fortuitous as Stan's mother turns out to subscribe to that odd Russian prejudice against celebrating someone's birthday before the actual day comes around, so I couldn't have given him the thing anyway.
We picked up Laivi, who was a pirate only in spirit - to make up for his lack of appropriate attire he insisted on refueling Liza's car only if asked in the appropriate pirately fashion. So we threatened to keelhaul him. It turned out, when we finally reached Stan's house, that absolutely none of the boys had made any sort of effort towards dressing for the theme2. We than hung around outside waiting for Jess to arrive. The wait had a farcical quality to it in that I was pretty sure that Stan knew we were there, and Liza was convinced that Jess drove so slowly that she wouldn't be there for another fifteen minutes, and then it started raining.
Jess, however, did eventually show, and with a big coat and a bandanna to boot, so all was not lost. After some laughable attempts at subterfuge and a desperate warning not to say "happy birthday" at any point, we all piled into Stan's house brandishing our swords and yelling "Yarr!"3 We then ordered pizza (although by rights we should have captured and hijacked it) and a good time was had by all. Sadly there was no rum.
Eventually I got tired and boarded Toly's car for a lift home. Here the fail began. You will recall that my handbag, containing among other things such necessary items as my mobile phone and my house keys, remained in Alex's bedroom. Toly offered me the use of his mobile to call my parents, but I foolishly declined on the grounds that it was like ten and they were probably home. Oh, but when is life ever that simple for Captain Oblivious? No, as it transpired after he drove away (taking with him, incidentally, my tin foil sword, which I had forgotten in his car... I'm sensing a pattern4), they were not, in fact, as it were, at home. So here I, keyless and phoneless, had several options. The first was to walk to Alex's and demand the return of my
This left me with two possible courses of action - to attempt to break in, or to find a friendly domicile in which to demand
At last my parents docked and let me in, and no more was said of the whole endeavour. Oh shit, I still have to go get my stuff from Alex...
1 Many years ago, also by some strange coincidence on Stan's birthday, Certain People (by which I mean Toly) engaged in a spot of dog baiting (Stan's puppy is so neurotic, nobody can resist) using a plastic plunger. No dogs were harmed in the course of this pursuit, but the implement in question snapped in half. So really we owe Stan a plunger.
2 Lame.
3 Well, I brandished my sword. See footnote two.
4 Not to worry. He can pillage it for his collection of tin foil hats.
