waiting for the front door to splinter/waiting all winter

I remembered what I wanted to blog about! It's less exciting than it was at three am when I couldn't remember what it was. See, once upon a time I bought a sandwich at my uni cafeteria, as you do. And that day they were handing out freebies with every purchase: tiny little Go Natural bars. I tried to explain to the cashier that I didn't want one, but he gave it to me anywa, and thereupon it sat in my bag for a couple of weeks. Until StressHell Wednesday, when I dashed out of the house with my USB stick and fifteen minutes left before class started, and had no dinner because I was busy photoshopping solar panels onto a roof.

So I was sitting on the bus, and I calmed down enough to realise I was kinda hungry. And I looked in my bag and saw this leetle Go Natural bar. And I thought, look, alright, it's food. I am hungry. I have no idea what it is, but I will eat it. So I unwrap the thing and take a bite.

It's a rock made out of nuts.

I ate it anyway. As a concession to my sense of pride I made faces while I did so, possibly scaring the other passengers or making them think I was on a diet (or you know, little from column A, little from column B...) but I fucking ate it, and thus did not burst into tears at the print shop or faint in class.

For future reference, there is usually a reason they give things away for free...

(no subject)

Big day yesterday! In the morning I acted as my mum's proxy in attending my little brother's primary school mother's day assembly, as she had to work. This involved sitting through a lot of alternately excruciating and hilarious speeches from five year olds whom love their mums because they give them lots of hugs and kisses and always buy them things and do the dishes. My principal task was to take photos and video of my brother (during the bits where there were sappy songs and wavy hand gesturesm not while he was propping up his head looking bored witless by the speeches, for which I sympathised with him). I realised this was going to be less than successful when the kids filed in and sat down en masse, with Timmy up the back. Just as I worked out the zoom function on the video, a teacher came down the front, placed a chair directly in between me and Timmy, and sat in it, for the purpose of conducting the aforementioned handgestures. I nevertheless persevered, shooting Timmy's vague and mostly tardy moves over her shoulder, when the granny in front of me didn't turn her head and obscure my line of sight with her nose. Then I ran out of batteries.

Fortunately I was compensated in tea and scones and vaguely shifty looks from parents trying to decide if I was a scandalously young mother. Then I went off to watch Star Trek with perfectdays (<3) - would you like my thoughts on yaoi? Yes, yes you would.

( Star Trek spoilers )

Then I went to Jess's for her birthday Shabbat Dinner With People Her Parents Don't Hate. There was awkward mouthing of prayers I barely remembered, spicy food, arguments about God, Jason waffling like a privileged asshat about aborigines and Rudd's stimulus package, tea, and Liza showed up late and cured my hiccups. Twice.

Now I am off to her general birthday drinks, but before I go this video is amaaaazing and reminded me of this sciffy story that amber linked me to.