EXFOLIATE. EXFOLIATE.

I died in the Dungeon of Maggiebloome

I was killed in a rough-hewn pit by Jenninani the arch-demon, whilst carrying...

the Crown of Palmer Kun, the Amulet of Velvetblood Fic, the Sword of Your Rocket, the Axe of Cheekbones, the Wand of Erksome, a Figurine of Emoawards, the Axe of Artsangel, a Figurine of Arborwin, a Figurine of Smuu, the Armour of Cadhla, the Dagger of Punktuation, the Crown of Evilfuzzymonste, the Sword of Acting, the Amulet of Random Miha, the Armour of Newnumber6 and 94 gold pieces.

Score: 222

Explore the Dungeon of Maggiebloome and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...

Better.

Last week my mum sent me off to some place called Natural Balance Nature or something. Turns out to be the official Russian skin care shop of Bondi. Well, not official, per se, but the chick and the babka working there were both Russian, and so were all the customers I ever saw. But what was the outcome of my visit?

Well, for one thing, I appear to have The Monster Blackhead Of All Hell Doom Rage Death. Seriously, I was lying there for like half an hour while the chick prodded at it, saying things like "wow, this is a big one" and "oh my god, there's more!" and "Just wait here, precious, I'll go get the industrial size tongs". All in Russian, of course.

I actually had to go back, today, before they could get rid of the whole damn thing. I suppose I should be grateful to my face that this is the worst incident it's managed to come up with since freckles. But, dammit, those things are painful to get rid of.