bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
Mwaha! Okay, now it is time for linkspam! First off, remember Formspring? Not sure I ever linked it here. I AM INCREDIBLY FRANK, YOU GUYS: YOU KNOW THIS. Ask me things!

Bee tee dubs, I meant to tell you how awesome the compliments meme was! Some of the people I was thinking of when I wrote about the i'm-so-fat thing and my puzzled flail about it did not comment though, so I had to ambush them on facebook. And while I was there I said what the hell, and got through another twenty or so of my friends. It was amazing! I highly reccommend it, I went to sleep grinning my face off. I turned on my capslock before I started. NOTHING IS AWKWARD WHEN YOU SAY IT IN CAPS LOCK :D

Speaking of Facebook, I thought y'all might find this recent exchange of mine amusing.

ImageHost.org

It's true, I really would watch Battlestar Gaylactica. Don't lie, you know you would too.

In slightly more Srs Bzns lately, I found this article incredibly interesting. Back when I first read the Zombie Survival Guide in high school I had plans to write up detailed Zombie Contingency Plans for the event of securing my house, my school and a long-term fortress such as an island (because you know. it never hurts to be prepared awesome. I also spent a lot of time trolling the [profile] zombie_survival community, but I got tired of it being full of people who had not actually read the book and either took the whole thing too seriously or were obsessed with proving their own points about some strategic detail. Plus: the curse of a thousand American gun nuts!)

I never got beyond vague ideas and a hilarious diagram of my school with zombie-vulnerable points circled, but as part of the long-term plan I was considering data storage. I had some idea of a cool dry cellar in which we'd keep archival computers that could be powered with our generator or even a hand-crank - for all those bits of information we're not sure if we'll need or not. They'd be powered down all the time except when we need to check something, or yearly maintenance I guess. I never got round to doing the research on how long they would last. Things are made pretty disposable these days.

Idle speculation on future archeologists is also a bit of a hobby of mine. Last year there was an archeology thread on the Whitechapel forums, and one user who studies in that area pointed out that the default explanation for Stuff That Baffles Us is to file it under Religious Purposes. I found it amusing to look at modern art pieces and imagine them being dug up in a thousand years by next-civilisation scholars who invent elaborate religious rituals on our behalf to explain them. But gods, is it creepy to think about all those ghost-databanks, lying fallow all over the world for lack of decryption technology.

Think about what's on your hard-drive right now. If that one computer was all some future pastgeek could access, what would they infer about our civilisation?



Okay, now MOAR LULZ.

The Worst Sex Scene In Comics. I think I ruptured something giggling at this. (PS it is SFW in the sense that there is clearly sex happening but it's been blackboxed.)

SPEAKING OF SEXYTIEMS. Am I a bit of a perv for finding Venom licking a dude hot? COME ON, GUYS. LOOK AT THAT LITTLE HEAD-TILT. COME ONNNN.

Hope you've got your lulz/srs bzns whiplash neckbrace on because I really like this article about Taylor Swift. Basically assume I am nodding vigorously at everything in that article.

AND FINALLY LET US END WITH STILLLLLL MOOOOAR LUUUUUUUULZ. (via [livejournal.com profile] drjon a long time ago)



also it is apparently delurking week! or it was, and can be, like, extended. jussayin.
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
Did I mention my cat got in a fight with a tom the other day? She's getting rowdy in her old age. Fifteen years old and she's finally got the balls to prowl. Anyway she has a big lump on her back but she isn't limping anymore and I just found a decapitated mouse on my kitchen floor so I guess she's okay. The antibiotics are a bitch to grind up and put in her food, though - the crumbs get everywhere, I'm paranoid that I am eating kitty antibiotics every time I make a sandwich.

Today was the induction at Q Casting. I don't remember if I posted at all about that here, so a quick run down: my srs bzns acting is behind my writing and my music on the priority list, but being an extra sounded like fun (also like money, but given the sporadic nature of the industry, mostly fun). So I basically googled Sydney agencies and found a whole bucketful of dodgy websites that either a) hadn't been updated since 1993, b) failed to advertise large up-front fees or c) (and this was an odd one) had very organised LOOKING Talent category pages which, once clicked on, revealed the same two or three actor profiles, one spammed up with a couple of words repeated over and over through the entire profile. But I also found a forum where actors were chitchatting and one recommended Q, so I decided to have a go. They seemed pretty professional and non-dodgy when I came in for an interview, so I joined up. [/summed]

So anyway, the induction: during which everyone they signed on in the last month shows up to sign forms and be photographed by a campy European dude called Fabian and get the two-hour talk on How Not To Piss Off Everybody Else On Set By Being A Noob. This included useful information about what all that tape on the floor means, and why you shouldn't mess with your hair lest tiny blonde women who've been up since four in the morning with a curling iron go for your throat. Also a crash course on what's in a camera, how things get synced up and what in the world a Grip actually does. (My favourite department is the lighting department because the dude in charge of it is called a Gaffer, his assistant is called a Best Boy and the rest are called Sparkies. I cannot decide if that sounds more like an 80's rock band or a superhero team.) And the rest of the two hours was taken up by hilarious industry anecdotes from the head guy, who's apparently been in the industry for like two decades as everything from Focus Puller to Producer. Also we were warned to come in for a new photo if we did anything drastic to our hair, lest somebody request a blonde and then call the agency up on the day going "so about this chick with the orange hair you sent us!?" (true story, I am told).

In other news: somebody on [livejournal.com profile] zombie_survival dug up Death and Suffrage for me - you should all read it, it is a beautiful story. I first came across it in F&SF magazine some years ago, when my library had a few issues lying around. Or maybe it was one of the old ones they were selling for a dollar to save space, I don't remember. If it was that I've lost the issue, so it was great to be able to read it again - it wasn't anywhere on the internet back when I first looked.

And that's a wrap! (mmm... I want a wrap.) (THERE IS NO CHEEEESE IN MY HOOOOUSE.) (I tell a lie, we have crappy shredded mozarella and an inexplicable THREE boxes of squishy camembert, which I am all for but which you CANNOT MELT ON TOOOOAST.)
bliumchik: (Default)
I no longer remember who linked me to this but you guys. TEARS. TEARS OF LAUGHTER. Even if you have no idea who Warren Ellis or Alan Moore are, go have a listen. (He wrote Watchmen and V for Vendetta, you heathens :P) I love it when comics people tell Alan Moore stories, he is like that strange spinster auntie that comes out with non sequiters at parties and sometimes knits you things that shouldn't be awesome but somehow are.

Today me and Lily wrote a song that reminds me alternately of The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Lonely Goatherd song. I feel the urge to yodel creepily. Actually we didn't finish writing it, I'm not that good at coming up with words on the fly yet, but we have the basic gist of it. Also met up with Avi and Stan and Jess and ate a free hot dog (I did not catch what it was in honour of) and then some semolina pudding pressed upon me by an earnest member of the UNSW Hare Krishna Society. Yum, semolina! Avi also took advantage of their free vegetarian lunch thing. Then I went to class and managed to, well.

See, we were talking about Maslow's Heirarchy in the context of ads and what exactly they appeal to, because one of our assignments involves being given a crappy ad and asked to improve it, by means of drawing up a different version for each step of the pyramid. (I find it hilarious at this point to think about Melissa's HSC Extension 2 English project which she planned to base on Maslow, but it ended up being about sex, which was awkward when it came to Mentor Review.) (Speaking of awkward, during the lecture there was an ad relating to penis enlargement on the screen. It was a clever ad but the way the lecturer danced around saying the word "penis" was hilarious to behold.)

Anyway, the tutor decided to give us some practice and put a slide of rainwater tanks on the screen. "Okay," he says, "Let's start with physiological. Who's got some ideas for slogans?" Obviously I had some ideas, but that is beside the point. Ten minutes later we get to Ego. And uh. It just kind of slipped out.

"My tank is bigger than yours!" I mumbled. ...very audibly.

My tutor literally facepalmed.

At least I managed to keep the comment about zombie apocalypses sotto voce during the Safety discussion.
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
Title: Roar Forth, Steer The Dead
Author: Captain Oblivious
Wordcount: 2420
Notes: So hey everybody, remember this? I finished it off for last semester's final creative writing assignment and then forgot about it. I thought maybe I would expand it but at this point it seems unlikely, so here it is! Title from this song.


Roar Forth, Steer The Dead

August 9th. There have been reports of a curious disturbance in the slums of this good city. A man, presumably the worse for wine, is said to have had a spontaneous fit of cannibalism and begun taking bites out of passers-by at random. This occurring just outside a notorious Den of Sin, it took some time for the City Militia to respond. The man was therefore subdued by bodyguards of the establishment, and delivered to the Guard frog-tied and foaming at the mouth.

Of course the foremost witnesses being Ladies of the Night one cannot be certain as to the veracity of such tales, but this may be a unique opportunitie to observe first hand a case from my field of study occurring in Civilised realms, which suggests that the practice is not unique to Savages and remote island-bound tribes. This will set the Academy in a tizzy! I shall venture down to the Fifth Precinct Constabulary first thing tomorrow morning with my Instruments of Science and make use of my contact there to gain an interview with the Subject. There is no time to waste for the Crown Prince arrives on tomorrow's incoming Zeppelin to attend the Royal Engineering and Machinecraft Conference two evenings hence, and I cannot be less than prepared should he request a report.


(The above being the final entry in the Journal of Sir Thomas Boyd, Doctor of Natural Philosophy, Alchemy and Anthropology, found at his residence some few miles outside _________. -ed)

continued... )
bliumchik: (Default)
I don't really think LJ is going to actually die, but just in case I LJ-Secced everything to my insanejournal account, not that I intend to actually use it, but it will do for a backup. I uh. Think I might have accidentally set all entries to friendsonly? And have no friends on insanejournal? Cos I usually just use OpenID to comment there. So that link was pretty useless. *handswavy*

Anyway. The monsterpile on my bedroom floor has separated into a bunch of smaller piles on my bed (NEEDS MOAR FLOAR), so I should have internets in my room again tomorrow!

Meanwhile: my dad came home and switched on the TV to discover a scene of carnage. We watched in horrified fascination as this resolved into a french horror B-movie vaguely based on Lovecraft in which there were flying octopuses from another dimension and everyone panicked and screamed a lot. In French.
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
So [livejournal.com profile] drjon posted a (really, really creepy) video in which Russian soldiers in a helicopter film in infrared another soldier trying to escape some speedy ~zombies (zombies don't run, also don't have heat signatures) before coming to a gruesome end. I was intrigued, largely from sheer empathy for the gasping, retching soldier behind the camera that had to be restrained - that's some excellent acting going there.

Anyway, I thought I'd check out the website at the end of the clip, zonesecurity.ru, and see if there was more where that came from, but as far as I could tell it was just a Russian virus protection advice site. Then I went to the site linked in the youtube userinfo but it was just a bunch of bright colours and some writing in Spanish or Portuguese, possibly relating to fashion. I flailed at Stan a bit on msn and he turned up two alternate youtube posts. The first suggested viral marketing for 28 Months Later on the basis of rumour that at least part of the movie will be set in Russia. The second first argued that it was actually viral marketing for the upcoming STALKER game, claiming that "the video was posted on all STALKER fan sites and on Youtube by ManMadeHell (whose nickname is STALKER's marketing slogan)" before returning with a definite denial of STALKER links from Oleg Yavosrkiy. (A quick google of zonesecurity.ru turned up a bunch of messageboards, one of which suggested that it was in fact viral marketing for a Russian online security company. I sense a common theme.)

Then I googled ManMadeHell and found a profile and a bunch of posts on a Russian STALKER-related messageboard, which upon closer inspection turned out not to be Russian - the characters are Cyrillic but I don't understand most of the words. It's not close enough to Russian to be Ukrainian - I suspected Yugoslavian considering SiroDra mentioned a previous iteration of the video that claimed to belong to Yugoslavian police, but the user that posted that version does not appear to be related to the original poster. Then I had the bright idea to click Google's translate function and it turned out to be Bulgarian. THEN I noticed that the account was created this year and the videos posted last year, so that was a dead end. The only other ManMadeHell I could find was an empty Deviantart account and a whole bunch of general non-gaming references to Chernobyl. Oh, and what appears to be the original account on Youtube, which is now empty as well.

So, in conclusion: all signs point to STALKER except for that little one where the STALKER guys claim it's not theirs. Either Oleg is lying, or it's an independent contribution, which seems unlikely as the contributor hasn't stuck around to claim any credit, or it really is a 28 Months Later stunt and they are just really bad at it.
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
Heh. Went trolling on [livejournal.com profile] zombie_survival as Survivalist Asshole. Nobody took the bait so [livejournal.com profile] snarkaddict joined in... couldn't quite get a flame war going, but I got to exercise my snarking skills.

Obviously I am procrastinating on my three essays and one creative writing task (which also involves zombies so I don't know why I'm complaining). AUGH. UNI.
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
LJ has done up a stylish black and red for Halloween and it's raining faintly midnight out my window. Undeadjournal, let me tell you about the Lurch.

I arrived at Hyde Park late - or at least, I thought so, but then we didn't leave for another hour because the guys from the charity didn't come to pick up all the tinned food we brought for ages. In the mean time, I got all made up - it's amazing what you can do with perfectly normal eye make-up. I also borrowed some fake blood from this Undead sister-in-armsbrains. I didn't use as much as some people present, though!

Highlights of the costumery include: Zombie marathon runners (well, lurchers) with hilarious signs, zombie cat. (om nom nom brains). Also a duck. I will leave it to your imaginations whether the cat bit the duck or vice versa. Other bits of awesomeness: Zombie Ukelele, Zombie Scene Kids, Zombie Pool... has zombie stopped looking like a word to you yet?

Then... we lurched. We marched, well, shambled, from Hyde Park to Pitt Street Mall, via Martin Place, where we passed a bemused wedding party. Occasionally we shouted slogans ("What do we want?"

"Braaaaains!"

"When do we want'em?"

"Braaaaaains!"

"Who are we voting for?"

"Braaaaaains!"

"What's the square root of pi?"

...guess.) or moaned "iced teeeeeea" or "social juuustiiiice" instead of "braaaains." We scared and delighted some tourists and all in all, many lulz were had. A+ would lurch again.
bliumchik: (Default)
Off to this.




Pics will hopefully be up la-braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
World war Z finally got into the library! I've only just started reading it, though. The prose seems a little clunky so far, but dude - zombies! It also reminded me that I promised to write amusing zombie contingency plans and I didn't. Sadly it's too late for Sydney Girls High School - that's okay, though, it wasn't a very defensible position in the first place. Too open on the Lowers side, which is a pity because the front of the school was very promising with the big gate and the tiny doors and steps, very solid. But the zombies could easily just go round the back and there's no way to keep them out of the music wing, and probably not the art rooms, either. If any SGHS student is reading this - your best bet for survival is probably the old projection room above the Campbell Hall. It used to be accessible via a door which renovation has now placed about two metres above the ground in Computer Room Four. They painted over it, but I'm sure you could pick the lock - just barricade it and stay very, very quiet until the zombie horde moves on. There's no way an idle zombie can climb up there and if you don't call attention to yourselves you probably won't attract too many of them. If you do have time, I'd reccommend running away, or at the very least enlisting a science teacher with a homemade flamethrower. You know they want to.

Anyway, I will write a contingency plan for my house, presumably the uni when I am more accustomed to it, and today I thought - hey, why not the gym? Who knows where I'll be when the zombies attack!? Today was Fun With Weights day, a new riff on Fun With Poles Day. I daydreamed about building a pulley-lever-wheely-robot-thing using the weights, the poles, the stretchy thera-bands and the Ab Master. The gym is up a narrow flight of stairs, it's actually pretty defensible. Be Prepared!
bliumchik: (Default)
Okay. Okay. There are bars on the doors and windows. My parents and brother are safe, they apparently encountered no zombies on the way home. Rumours have it that the army is finally getting round to doing something useful. Most importantly, I can has weaponry.

bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
Damn... I'm really out of world news. Apparently zombies invaded America? Goddamn time zones. Oh god, why am I such a procrastinator? I knew it was a bad idea to put off that zombie contingency plan, and now look!

No worries though, I still have Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide. I'll just have to look things up on the spot and improvise. I estimate we have a good deal of time left to prepare before they reach us, because the hell is any zombie going out rampaging in this torrential rain.

In other news, what is up with all these things I thought were common knowledge that it turns out are weird trivia that only I know? First it was Amerigo Vespucci, the dude they named the Americas after - turned out only one other person in my group knew that when the question came up in a trivia game. Now it appears that "jury-rig," which has always been one of my very favourite phrases, is not as present in the popular lexicon as I had previously thought. Beth sprained her finger, you see, and splinted it using the remains of a plastic spoon and some cardboard. But when I used the term she and Poppy and Rachel looked at me funny. We were all clinging to the heater in the common room while waiting for our respective buses, and drying every item of Poppy's clothing that she could decently remove to hang on the heater after she got caught in the rain.

They say there's going to be hail! There probably has been by now and I just didn't notice. Hail is fun. When you're, you know, inside. Maybe it will concuss some zombies.


ETA: FUCK FUCK FUCK. Oh shit I'm going to be EATEN.

FUCK WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PARENTS?

ETA2: I am perfectly calm and rational. I will not take being eaten lying down.

...metaphorically speaking, of course. OH THANK GOD that's the parents' car.

Read more... )

OHNOETH.

Dec. 5th, 2006 11:44 pm
bliumchik: (pwned)
Today my computer exploded due to an unlikely sequence of coincidences and dairy products. The epic tale unfolds forthwith (on my dad's slow and cluttered computer):

One Year Ago
Computer: Waaah I wanna new videocard WAAAH it's not compatible with your motherboard WAAAH I HATE YOU SIMS TWO YOU USE TOO MUCH ENERGY ;_; im gonna go overheat like a bitch in menopause now kthnx.
Me: Augh! *opens up case and scratches head*
Dad: Your computer appears to be running a high fever.
Me: Well, what do we do?!
Dad: ...boil eggs?
Me: *death glare*
Dad: Maybe we can replace the fan... *tinkers*
Computer: *sniffle*
Dad: ...oookay. Cut for length )
bliumchik: Item: trebuchet. Item: zombie. Sound effect: braaAAAAaains. Zombie Badminton: priceless.  (zombieminton)
"It's come to our attention," the teacher said, as the whole assembly watched expectantly. "That some of you are not aware of all our emergency procedures, specifically a lockdown. You know fire-drill is three short bell-rings and then a continuous ring, but in this type of situation there will be no short rings."

What? says we. What type of situation? Aha, but all shall be revealed!

"In a lockdown situation, you must stay in your classrooms. If you are in the hallway when the bell rings, you will go into the nearest room. The teacher will then lock all the doors and windows and turn off the lights. This is to make you less noticable to the unauthorised person that may have entered the school. You may also lie down on the floor, depending on which classroom you are in, so as not to be visible from the windows."

What is our conclusion, good students of Sydney Girls? ZOMBIES. THE GOVERNMENT HAS FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THE ZOMBIE THREAT AND ARE TAKING PRECAUTIONS AGAINST A ZOMBIE OUTBREAKS. Only, they're taking really shitty ones. That settles it, I really do have to write that zombie contingency plan for my school - the bureaucracy is simply not up to the task.

READY YOUR SCALPELS, SCIENCE STAFF: THE INVASION IS NIGH.

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Captain Oblivious

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