bliumchik: THIS IS NOT SPARTA. I AM LOST. (splode?)
Today, I am indignant about Heidegger. Specifically, about his opaque and rambling speech to some architects being foisted on us in a poetics class with zero context. Yes, Martin, it is certainly an excellent idea to give people an essay to talk about, then tell them they are all wrong because the essay is impossible to fully understand wihout reading a bunch of other essays you did not give them, nor indicate they ought to find, not that they would have anyway since three assessments are due in this fortnight, one for your subject.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Thinking more about my LURK MOAR epiphany, possibly I should make use of it in class. That way I will figure out that stuff like the above has happened BEFORE I start shooting my mouth off about thing-ness and neuropsychological synthesis and get told off for being too teleological :P

(I did not, incidentally, mean that people who read my journal should lurk moar. TALK TO MEEE)

...I am doing a class in which I can get told off for being too teleological. Ohhhh academia.
bliumchik: (fight the system)
Good evening, internet! It is for once Before Midnight and I am writing a blog post!

I have been a busy little maggot this week, for varying values of busy that alternate between internet-cyborg-zombie and person-who-leaves-the-house-wearing-clothes. My casual online tutor work has started up again, so now I have an EXCUSE to sit in front of the computer for hours at a time! Also on Friday I accidentally went to a trance club. The night began promisingly, with young ladies stealing my roll of gaffer-tape to prepare their breasts for later semi-naked acrobatics and all, but I went home early because I had forgotten my wallet and felt too awkward sober. Also, I was hungry. So I came home and made a steak at one in the morning. Class~!

Anyway, a thing which I wanted to talk about was the Ladies: Why You Be Putting Yo'selves Down stuff going round earlier this week. I shall link to the Tiger Beatdown post because that is where I came across it and also because I agree with pretty much all of it, Sady is a sensible person and I love her blog. She and Amanda Hess continue the conversation here, and that post in particular felt oddly, nay, horrifyingly familiar.

You see, people do this around me all the time. I shan't name names, but I've been dealing with various close friends moaning about how fat they apparently are since I was fourteen. And I never got it, and I could never think of an appropriate response, because "no you're not" got old fast when it was clearly making no impact, since the conversation would repeat verbatim ad nausea, and talking about how stick-thin is not the only way to be pretty skirts the minefield of calling them fat by dint of not gushing about how skinny they are. Sometimes I'd cynically think to myself, "She is just fishing for compliments, god!" but I never particularly minded handing them out - it was just, you know. Boring.

I never really thought about this weird female habit in context, in terms of the whole patriarchal structure of feminine downplaying and tearing down and submissive gestures. I never really felt the urge myself - I guess those couple years of preadolescent socialisation I missed out on were good for something, huh? On the other hand, I am always going on about how clumsy and forgetful I am. It's not in a "please reassure me" way, it's more an instinct to lower expectations, I suppose, but now I'm wondering if that's part of this phenomenon, or if it has more in common with the gender-neutral Class Clown syndrome, as I've always thought.

All that can't hide the fact that this really is a Thing, that women are taught to do, and it still sucks. It's hard to know what to do about it. I still don't know how to respond when people (read: women) (...and Shaun, now that I think about it) put themselves down. I'm thinking of a compliment-ambush strategy, or something, I don't know. But if you're reading this, if you're reading the posts I linked above (and I hope you read those because they are awesome) and you are thinking shit, that's me, then I'd like to hear about what goes through your head in those conversations, what it is that I never got from your perspective. And yeah, I'd like it to happen less often, but not at the expense of your feeling able to express your insecurities to me, because what else are friends for? I only want to hear that stuff less because you're thinking it less. And I of all people know how tricky and unpredictable brain-hackery is, but I do believe that sometimes, when we're aware of a Thing we do that we do not want to do, we can do something about it. Remember when I used to have panic attacks on buses? You probably don't. Hell, I barely do. But I do remember it's slow, it starts small. And here this rambling dovetails neatly with a meme I've been meaning to post, via [livejournal.com profile] jk_rockin and [livejournal.com profile] mishka_jayne!

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then repost this [if you like] and spread the love.

Except! Amendment! Especially for if you are a lady (or shaun)!

Reply to this post with something you like about yourself. No cop-out complinsults please! I know you've got it in you! And if you don't I will still do the original meme above, so no pressure or anything, but try. For me.

AND IF YOU DON'T COMMENT, Certain People, well... I know where you live (on the internet). I will hunt you down. And some day, when you least expect it... I will... SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU.
bliumchik: Jared Padalecki's thinkyface (deep thought)
So the other day I was thinking about that whole SF/F racism kerfuffle again (people who are sick of it feel free to skip this post) and about trying to unpack some of my own unconscious issues. (I would like to note before I start that I am not holding my hand out for Nice White Lady Cookies here, seeing as people have been accused of that throughout and often rightly so. I'm just trying to verbalise this for myself and guess it might be food for thought for somebody else too.) cut for rambling )
bliumchik: (fight the system)
Yup, I really need to stop staying up till four in the morning and then deciding to make LJ posts about ~politics. Because... I... didn't quite get to the politics *looks sheepish* So please consider the meander of my last post Vaguely Related Things I Have Been Thinking About. Because I was actually thinking about the island thing for some time before RaceFail 09 was brought to my attention, and it's not really fair to have my one post on the topic taken over by my own tl;dr hypothesizing. Nevertheless I like it as a frame of reference and will continue to wikihop on the topic of empire prior to the British one to see if my theory has any sway. I know the Ottoman empire had a habit of putting somebody local in charge of their conquered lands, so that the only thing that changed was where the taxes were going, which reduced civil unrest. Is there anybody history-minded on my flist, d'you know if there has been anything on the scale of British colonisation at any other point in history? Um anyway, [/end ramble]

The actual kerfuffle: I have been reading further! (SO MUCH further. IT IS SO HUGE, OH MY GOD) I have found one of the most erudite and sensible people in the melee is [livejournal.com profile] tablesaw - among other things this was pretty damn awesome. (Considered friending her but I don't think we actually have anything more specific in common than I Like The Sci Fi and would thus feel like a stalker) (...more like a stalker than usual). However I have obtained an extra blog to the bookmarks list with Mary Anne Mohanraj guest posting on John Scalzi's blog - her books look interesting too! If there is one thing I have gained from this whole thing aside from red eyes and a vague discomfort with my own reactions to certain things it is the many additions to my amazon wishlist!

My conclusion on the actual events... is totally irrelevant, I don't really have anything new to say there. Speaking of John Scalzi, there is a guy who knows how to say "oops, my bad" - some people could learn from that. This really did not need to get this fucking big, seriously. Seriously!

(however that is not why I am up so late on THIS night, this one is all down to faily procrastination issues. I did manage to get one thing done, which was for a marketing internship - they asked all the shortlist folks to sign up to their networking site and post an article about entrepreneurship or something. I uh, sort of ended up going on a tl;dr rant about networking sites which may or may not have been the BEST idea depending on their meta tolerance but I am trusting in my leet wordsmithy skillz to blow them away. ...I really hope I won't wake up tomorrow and discover THIS was something I shouldn't have done at four in the morning EITHER lol. IT ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME, DAMMIT.)

Anyway I shall finish this post on a more awesome note. [livejournal.com profile] villainny's post about [livejournal.com profile] 50books_poc reminded me of Janelle Monae again (the reason I keep forgetting is I CAN'T FIND HER MUSIC ANYWHEEEERE) ;_; so have an amazing sciffy music video that I don't remember if I've posted before and don't care if I have because it is awesome.

bliumchik: (Default)
It's been a while since I nattered on about science and religion in this journal, but Nicky linked me to the whole crocoduck kerfuffle (just... just google it) and I couldn't help getting a bit riled up. So uh, this is cut for your convenience )
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
My class Communication and Information Environments has a common theme of technophobia. Experts Advise Caution. "New" Media - Good Or Evil? Video Killed The Radio Star - And It's Coming For You(tube).

For heaven's sake. We still write with pen and paper when we've had typewriters and computers for decades. I'm sure it's decreasing a little the more portable computers get, but it's not obsolete or redundant by any means. Similarly I always think the people bewailing the internet spelling DOOM for the printed book and the CD have an air of willful hysteria about them. This next change is the harbringer of the apocalypse, no? Well, THIS one then - fine, THIS one. The elusive End Of Society As We Know it is always just over the horizon. I'm doing the reading for our first essay and apparently Andrew Keen thinks Wikipedia spells the death of Encyclopedia Brittanica and its ilk - while simultaneously being unreliable tripe and nonsense. Funny how the new thing is always utter rubbish AND YET taking over the world. Luring us in with its seductive dodginess and shitty quality OF TEMPTATION. Kids these days!

This guy just makes me sprain my face for rolling my eyes, honestly. I'm going to have such fun demolishing him in my essay tomorrow. (Yeah, it's due Wednesday and I've done a paragraph. No worries! It's only twelve hundred words! *manic grin*)

PS: Two new friends in Writing: Style And Structure who speak Russian and think Russian is awesome respectively. Random! ("Oh, I'm not Russian. I just think Cyrillic is really cool looking, you know?") Also I'm glad I'm not claustrophobic because the lifts are pretty narrow and the one in the humanities building unexpectedly had no lights on today.Me and some guy get in and the doors shut on total darkness except for the eerie red glow of the number lights. Beat. "Well, this is awkward."
bliumchik: (fight the system)
Wow, internet debates. It's been a while. Now I consider myself a feminist despite the mis-definition and poor reputation the word has achieved in the public eye, so please view all my arguments through that framework - I defend reason, not sexism!

Nicky linked me to this (warning DO NOT CLICK if you're not in an appropriate mood to see the word rape bandied about willy-nilly and, you know, that particular brand of feminist rhetoric) and I thought it deserved a little more analysis than "wow, what a nutbag" so I replied, and tried to be polite and accommodating and all that. Nobody wants to talk to you if you're criticising them without finding ANYTHING worthwhile in their arguments. In fact I was just reading a study the other day confirming what we all already know - that it's easier to affirm someone's opinion in their minds by arguing with them than by agreeing with them.

I'm trusting that she is not, in fact, a nutbag, but merely someone with a certain political viewpoint that naturally leads to the sort of assumptions she's making. She appears to be an active member of no less than three separate minorities (I meant oppressed groups, women obviously aren't a minority *facepalm*), implying that she's gone through the usual xenophobic gauntlet which naturally isn't going to inspire a willingness to compromise. I guess we'll see if she deletes my comments or not, as far as I'm concerned that's the benchmark. Anyway, just in case my optimistic view turns out to be incorrect, and also because more discussion is always better, I'm posting my response here. It's currently screened so the copy-paste is for early commenters too. If you feel like having a rousing feminist spar (or want to join Nicky in bemused laughter, but PLEASE DO NOT FLAME ANYONE), then head on over to that post and then read my comment and, you know, be insightful!



The Post.

My reply backed-up here )


Go for it! And do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT FLAME ANYONE AT ALL. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR TRAFFIC, GUYS, PLEASE MOCK PRIVATELY. Or at least subtly, if you must.
bliumchik: (fight the system)
I don't understand the kerfuffle about livejournal ads. Does nobody else have Mental Adblock? Have you ever clicked a single livejournal ad? I haven't. No, I tell a lie, I made one of those dressup dolls once. It was lame because I wouldn't buy anything. But in general ads are all over the entire internet and I just don't even see them anymore. It is a little inconvenient in this layout that the ad covers up an oversized photo sometimes, but I'm not terribly attached to the layout and will undoubtedly change it again soon. It really isn't a big deal. Neither is the "top interests" thing, because most popular interests are sort of boring? And I actually don't care if randoms know about it? Just. Whatever.

Ugh the burn on my lower lip/chin is peeling like a little shit. In case anyone wondered, I spilled hot tea on my face thanks to an ill-advised decision to drink from a thermos in a moving vehicle. Don't try this at home, boys and girls.

What should I put on it? I've just been using my regular lip balm and trying not to pick at it (SO DIFFICULT and I chew my lip to death as it is) but urrgh.

Hot tea. On my FACE.
bliumchik: (fight the system)
There doesn't need to be a conflict between science and religion. Religion is something people believe in and science is something people use. Notice whenever they clash it's because someone is trying to believe in science or, more often, use religion - and then there's Intelligent Design, which is the worst of both worlds.

This was your two am installment of "people are dumb. why." theatre.
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
Some people almost make you wish there was a hell so they could go there. I say "almost" because only a total psychopath would seriously enjoy the thought of human beings burning alive for eternity, right? Right!?

Ugh. At Stan's house a few nights ago Liza and Alex and I were goaded into watching 2 girls 1 cup (well, the first ten seconds of it, anyway) and that was less disturbing. *shudders*
bliumchik: (Default)
GAH. DONE. FINALLY. DEAR GOD, FLIST.

I'm all caught up and about to post one of those sequels that have been jumping up and down - I say sequel but I wrote it more or less simultaneously to the other fic. I had some time on my hands :P I'm just trying to title it in Latin, because that is cool, but all the online dictionaries fail. I want to echo veni vidi vici but none of them do that grammar form.

Yesterday was yet another farcical and traumatic family outing. It was a wedding, and thus in a synagogue so naturally my mother insisted that I wear a skirt. Then she couldn't decide between insisting that I iron it completely unnecessarily, telling me that it was a crappy skirt and convincing me to wear one that she bought for me. In retaliation I wore too much eyeliner and sulked. Emo kid? What emo kid? I'm totally punk rawk. The wedding was about half an hour of standing up while people sang things that reminded me of primary school and catching sight of the top of bride's head circling the top of th groom's head over the rest of the audience. Then we went home and my mother had a nervous breakdown. I'm seriously considering this whole moving to Queensland plan.

Online: Hee. Zombie romance.

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2007. That's your year in review.January: 7 Rules for 07. 1. Be nice to small children and animal. Those little buggers have sharp teeth! And so do the animals!
February: AHAHAHA. Guys, my sarcasm is viscous!
March: Whoah. Sorry about that. My net upped and died on me for a few days (quoth the server, 404!) so I was stuck with the uh... problematic school filtered computers.
April: The awesome [livejournal.com profile] lackofmendacity had a birthday a few days ago.
May: Wahey! Email posting for the win!
June: Ouch. The English oral went well, but ironically it turned out that I'd spent so much time worrying about Modern History (which was okay) that I neglected my Drama preparations. (there was an earlier entry but apparently it had an image which is now ded)
July: There's a market every Sunday at Kingsford1 junction. It really is a treasure trove - today I found a really lovely jade necklace for my mum's birthday ad a stuffed moose for my brother's, as well as a cheap and fuzzy sweater and some black pants for myself.
August: I'm having these recurring dreams where I can walk through walls.
September: I really need to start getting more sleep.
October: The One Where I Dust Off Some Scary Accessories And My Parents Fail Rather A Lot.
November: Online this week: The Moana Deceasa.
December: You may be aware, by this point, that an evening out with Captain Oblivious has a certain nightly Fail Quota to fulfill.

That d'n'd meme )
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
So [livejournal.com profile] wrisomifu hasn't gone brilliantly, but this Miserable Fuck has indeed Written Something, something being two poems and a short fanfic, which is more than I've managed the last six months, so ALL IS NOT LOST. Also I'm being bombarded with DC bunnies. Two of them showed up in comic form so will take forever to implement, but expect fic relatively soon.

Speaking of DC, let's have a quick spoilerrific chat about Countdown 22, specifically the pages posted here. cut for spoilers, also pouting )
bliumchik: (hat)
Something I noticed at the mall on Saturday: Christmas has already started, in the form of giant silver balls and... carols. I'm serious carols. Why? I mean... it's not like it's the religious segment of the holiday that's slowly stretching out until it devours the year. That's just the commercial crap. As far as I know the Christians are only doing mass and carols and whatever they do on, yaknow, Christmas. Why on earth are we hearing carols in November?

Another thing that amused me (in between my towering rage) was the positioning of the Vote Early booth right next to Howard's Storage. Hmph, subtle guys.

Formal tomorrow! I'm excited, are you guys excited? I picked up my hat and tails today! Also Smirnoff is go. And my parents are insisting that I clear shit off my desk (like my friends will care). I got the cane (it unscrews into three segments but not, alas, a throwing knife) even though the event management probably won't let me take it in - I figure I'll have it in photos beforehand and after, right? I mean, it's a cane. It's cool anyway. (But would be cooler with dagger.)
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
Ah, the joy of spending a day not doing anything productive. Back to the grind tomorrow (not much longer!) but at least I got to spend today catching up on lj and comics and reading entirely too much slash.

Lest you think I slacked off completely, I wrote a drabble - literally, one hundred words including title - for submission to a horror ezine, but now that I've written it I'm looking at the themes and the list of possible upcoming themes and wondering if I'd be better off saving it for another issue. This one pretty clearly wants frankenstein stories instead of accidental warzone necrophilia.

I've also gotten some quality link-hopping time off one of [livejournal.com profile] liz_marcs entries lately. Political stuff.

Neo-fascism
Eliminationism
Old, old techniques

This stuff's enough for me to bring this old icon out of retirement, I swear.

Coincidentally (or... not quite) I also borrowed Bertrand Russell's Power from the library, and it's utterly fascinating and scarily sensible despite being twenty five years out of date. (Incidentally, what's up with book covers from the seventies and eighties? They had nice book covers in the nineteenth century, and they're fine now with the exception of the occasional dreadful fantasy cover art, but that era was just uniformly awful. What happened? Also, apparently the colour orange is edgy or something, cos they sure were itching to slap it on the manifestos, diatribes and anyone who disagrees with people a lot. But what can you expect from a company that prints a tiny hardcover labeled "unwin paperbacks"?)

My memory tends to be patchy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I tend to get all politicised in summer and then drop it after a few months. There was that (failure of a) community I started a few years ago... Maybe it's just a matter of how much free time I've got?

If so, prepare for a summer of ranting. And creepy creepy zombie drabbles.
bliumchik: (fight the system)
Okay, eljay appears to have implemented that weird-ass "snapshots" thing. Okay, is ANYBODY finding this as HIDEOUSLY ANNOYING as I am? OH MY GOD.

Is this because I have a plus account? If it is I'm going to have to downgrade. DAMMIT I LIKE HAVING FIFTEEN ICONS. INSANEJOURNAL GIVES YOU SO MANY MORE ICONS THAN LIVEJOURNAL. Death.

ETA: off. yay. Seriously, I have never before seen a "feature" that inspired instant hate. Everyone complained about the info bar and the weird drop down menus but I was like "meh" - this time it was all burny burny rage.
bliumchik: Dr. Horrible laughs evilly (squee)
I'M NOT DEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Take that, Modern History! I survived the HSC exam and I NEVER have to think about Douglas "Doug Baby" "Don't tell mom about my girlfriend" "The government is out to get me" MacArthur EVER EVER AGAIN. YESSSSSS.

Ahem. Yay. Innn other news, I'm downstairs in a rolly chair with the cat on my lap. The phone just rang and, rather than chase her off, I rolled the chair all the way across the room just in time to pick it up. Then after I stopped moving, the cat ran off anyway. Five minutes after she comes back, my mobile rings. Arg.

ETA: I seriously hate this computer. Not only is it INCREDIBLY slow and devoid of all my music, but it is currently experiencing mouse drift. If I don't keep moving the mouse down it slowly drifts towards the upper left hand corner of the screen. This is a bitch on small links, let me tell you. Or even large ones. I keep clicking home instead of stop, and open new window instead of open new tab, and just WATCHING IT GO is so very very irritating. Don't even talk to me about scrolling. On the bright side, my dad has promise to switch my computer's internet back on after my maths exam on monday. Hurrah!
bliumchik: Mommy, I dropped my giant cowsicle!  :( (Um.)
Today I stood in the rain for ten minutes, merrily singing a little song composed entirely of obscenities. Not even creative ones. Then I turned an ankle as per usual, only this time it somehow threw my back out, so I basically hobbled through Randwick Junction like my ribs were being held together by hope and duct tape, bought a miraculous pair of pants that actually fit me and spent my entire counseling session lying on the floor going "murgh" while avoiding my issues. On the bright side, ACCESS forms, woo. Also a resolution to disable my internet while I do practice essays. Losing it for the whole weekend has proved spectacularly unsuccessful from a non-distracting perspective, so I figured maybe some motivation to finish the damn things could do the trick.

Tomorrow is a public holiday, but I still have to get up at fuck you o'clock to go to some family barbecue. I'm not really as cranky as I sound right now, it's mostly the bundle of nerves in my back talking. Or rather, screaming in agony. Although slightly less agony than was generally available this afternoon, so I guess it'll clear up by tomorrow evening. My mother just came in and gave me a tube of something which, on closer inspection, appears to be something called "GOANNATM" Arthritis Cream. I'm not entirely sure why this seemed like a good idea, but my mother works in mysterious ways.

In conclusion: SELF-MEDICATING. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Angrycat and my ribs say goodnight.
bliumchik: baffled cat is baffled (OMGWTF)
As if it weren't bad enough that Bra Strap Bill has taken up residence in my head and is pestering me for crack!fic, he's now been joined by Capslock Holmes, the famous fandom_wank detective.

WHY, BRAIN. WHY.

Also, I've been reading fanfic and I'm getting really pissed off at the word "however." Who the hell actually says "However, I wouldn't think of that normally" in conversation? The word "but" exists for a damn reason, people! It's here, it's colloquial, and it's feeling a little neglected! However, at the start of a sentence and followed by a comma, belongs in essays and dressings down, and it inevitably breaks me out of the narrative when used in stream of consciousness or dialogue. Talk about suspension of disbelief!
bliumchik: batface + batpalm = batfacepalm (snark)
Today should have been the last exam of this round of assessments. And it was Drama, and I was pretty damn confident about it.

Then this morning I came to school and changed into my theatre blacks... and then Poppy rang up to say she was sick, vomiting, and altogether unlikely to both make it to school and avoid throwing up during the performace, poor thing.

There followed some negotiations with the drama teacher and the head of the creative department and then the Principal, whereupon it was decided that we'll all have to do it on Monday. Thing is, the written segment is based on the practical segment, so the other group was also dependant on us. Dr Vazza was rightly miffed at being caught without a Plan B, but was forced to concede the point and change the time. And we'd already lugged the bloody huge drum up the stairs from the music rooms, too! Well, that is, Sophie and Neada and Liv did, I was sent off to dig up a guitar from a random music room as the teacher with the keys to the store-room was busy with the negotiations.

So I ended up hanging round the school all morning in my blacks (I really need to find a decent pair of black pants that isn't a couple of sizes too big for me) because I'd planned to go out with the Art Nookies (D? Good name for our group or not?) and Simone (an... honorary member?) after all of our various morning exams.

I caught up on my flist, at least. Then we went to the Coffee Club, and Nicky reprimanded Diana for loudly mentioning porn in a busy city street - but as I pointed out, Vazza would probably be too embarrassed to bring it up at assembly if somebody called to complain. Everybody expressed puzzlement when I ordered a steak sandwhich - I don't know why, just because I'm a picky eater... I mean it doesn't really get more plain than bread meat and vegies, yes? Then we went to Kinokuniya, where Yi fan bought some comic and I leafed longingly through Endless Nights, bitched about my unemployed status like it isn't my own damn fault, and dropped hints about my coming birthday (on a vaguely related note, Neil Gaiman's great grandfather was kicked out of Lodz, guys. I don't know why this inspires glee, but it does).

Augh, how did it get so late? Goddamn slash. Goddamn Resonant and her epics and her getting me into stories for fandoms I've never even heard of. Murrrsleep.

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bliumchik: (Default)
Captain Oblivious

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