Chapter 3, Page 29

May. 24th, 2016 04:28 am
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Posted by shingworks


Well now you’ve done it

Thanks to Patrons, we’re going to be having daily updates here for the next few days. Yay! Throwing a few bucks in there is a good way to ensure that you keep getting great new alien harassment content from me.

Today’s bonus art: Same from yesterday because I’m tired :O



Delayed update

May. 23rd, 2016 11:49 pm
[syndicated profile] kill6billiondemons_feed

Posted by Abbadon

This Tuesday’s update (3/24) is a little art heavy, so I’m going to move it back to Wednesday the 25th just to make sure it’s all polished and nice

NRA: A grief ignored

May. 23rd, 2016 09:51 pm
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Posted by Fred Clark

As the lone church elder presiding over the viewing of his late friend Bruce Barnes, Rayford Steele has the opportunity to minister to a congregation racked with grief. But that's boring. So instead, "Rayford let his mind wander" and he and the authors ignore the grieving in order to awkwardly cram in some strange exposition.

Chapter 5, Page 13

May. 23rd, 2016 02:00 pm
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Posted by Blue


Page 13. Clean up.

I should be on my way home from Vancouver today, and the next page should be on track for an on-time update. Thank you to Patreon supporters for helping me get a bit of a buffer going while I was away! That was nice.

Chapter 3, Page 28

May. 23rd, 2016 01:20 am
[syndicated profile] mareinternum_feed

Posted by shingworks


Woah hey that’s the name of the comic

Also I think you guys have been a little mean to Mike lately XD Kallakore is hospitable and all, but I think they’re also not telling us a few things…

Another reminder in case you missed it yesterday, Mars is at opposition this weekend, meaning you can see it with your naked eye on Sat and Sunday nights. Tonight’s is not as cool since yesterday was the dramatic full moon, but still pretty good if you ask me.

And, thanks to Patrons, we’re going to be having daily updates here for the next week or so. What should we call this? take a page from SU and call it a Mare Bomb? that sounds like a horse explosion so maybe not… either way, thanks for your continued support of the comic.

Today’s bonus art: The prelim pencils to panel 1 that I think look pretty nice



(no subject)

May. 22nd, 2016 02:07 pm
nny: (Default)
[personal profile] nny
Fitness advice please?

I want to get fitter but I really give up horribly easy, mostly because I'm self conscious. What can I do at home that'll help?

Any thoughts muchly appreciated. ♥

Chapter 3, Page 27

May. 22nd, 2016 12:52 am
[syndicated profile] mareinternum_feed

Posted by shingworks


Taking the whole concept of “breaking bread” to a new extreme

There’s been some interesting news about Mars oceans and lakes in the past few days, in case you’re like Mike and have no interest in alien snacks

The Rise and Fall of Martian Lakes

Evidence of Martian Megatsunamis

And btw, Mars is at opposition this weekend, meaning you can see it with your naked eye on Sat and Sunday nights. Definitely take a peek; it’s fun to look at Mars without a telescope!

And, thanks to Patrons, we’re going to be having daily updates here for the next week or so. The funded tutorial is also going up soon since I’ve been working on that in between everything else for the past week or so, and we’re nearing the end of the month. Thanks again for your support, you are what’s keeping this comic up and running.

Today’s bonus art: editor’s note



Competition Time!

May. 21st, 2016 01:07 pm
[syndicated profile] stross_feed

Posted by Charlie Stross

The Nightmare Stacks

There are only 30 days to go until the UK release of The Nightmare Stacks, and to celebrate, my UK publisher Orbit are giving one lucky and inventive reader the chance to win a Laundry Files pack, including signed copies of The Nightmare Stacks, plus a Magic Circle of Safety mug and a Laundry Files tshirt. All you have to do is come up with your own Laundry Files gadget, app, or piece of tech - for good or evil. Give us a name, a classification and a brief explanation of how it works/what it does.

Five runners up will win a signed copy of The Nightmare Stacks.

Here are some examples of gadgets you might run into, or might run into you, if you work for the Laundry. (Terms and conditions apply: continued below the fold.)


Name: OFCUT (Occult Field Countermeasures Utility Toolkit)

Classification: Mobile application - counter magic class

Deployment: Usage recommended for field work by Laundry Agents for defence and offence against hostiles. Includes both preventative measures (Thaumometer: measuring magic in the area) and more extreme counter-measures (see ref: Scorpion stare)

Magic being a side effect of computation, Laundry IT services have been working on portable invocation and exorcism equipment since the late 1970s (see ref: Osborne-1). In the 21st century, modern smartphones have become as powerful as 1990s supercomputers and replace the laptops and briefcase-sized portable computers of earlier days as a platform agents can use to run the OFCUT software suite. OFCUT has tools for sensing magical flux (thaum field strength), identifying active intrusions using the smartphone's various antennae and positioning sensors, and a handy database of known ghostly manifestations and extradimensional horrors to assist the agent in working out how fast they should run away. It also includes a secure email and messaging client, a remote access tool to allow Head Office to activate and control the phone's features remotely, and a voice chat tool so that the agent's last words can be captured for posterity.

With additional bluetooth-controlled peripherals a proficient demonologist can use an OFCUT-equipped smartphone to summon and control the sort of things sane people prefer to avoid, and with an additional secondary camera module it can acquire SCORPION STARE capability.


Name: Jesusphone

Classification: Irresistibly shiny slab of preciousssss created in high security bunkers by a secretive cult-like corporation based in Silicon Valley. Sold around the world to millions of people who can't resist its Class 4 glamour. Believed by some to be merely a smartphone.

Allegations that the sub-basement floor plan of JesusCorp's new billion-dollar donut-shaped headquarters in Cupertino is laid out as a vast summoning grid are under investigation, but JesusCorp's internal secrecy, enforced by the so-called Worldwide Loyalty Team, is harder to penetrate than the cold-war era KGB.

Deployment: It's nearly impossible to keep employees from buying their own JesusPhones, so IT services finally bowed to the inevitable and started handing them out as official work equipment. At which point, JesusCorp's paranoid approach to security becomes an asset: running a native version of OFCUT the JesusPhone becomes a secure, reliable Swiss Army chainsaw for tackling occult intrusions in the wild--and without attracting undue attention, because they're ubiquitous.

Scorpion Stare

Name: Scorpion Stare

Classification: Weapon: Medusa class

Deployment: Basilisks and Medusas have been known of since antiquity: an observer-mediated quantum tunnelling effect causes a tiny fraction of the nuclei of carbon atoms in the target of the basilisk's gaze to be replaced by those of silicon atoms from a parallel universe, causing a sudden release of gamma radiation and heat. More recently, special-purpose electronic hardware has been developed that allows two or more suitably-connected high definition CCTV cameras to produce this effect. If you wonder why stereo/3D digital cameras are scarce on the market, this would be why: they're deadlier than hand grenades.

The Laundry operates Scorpion Stare technology in various modes. On a national level, in time of emergency/invasion by Elder Gods, the national CCTV network can be turned into a look-to-kill grid. And at a personal level, an agent with a smartphone and a special secondary camera module is less conspicuous than an agent toting a sawn-off shotgun. But in practice relatively few problems can be solved satisfactorily by making heads literally explode, encouraging bored civil servants to run around thinking they're James Bond inevitably leads to tears before bed-time, and the failure modes are drastic and unforgiving (more than one employee has ended up the subject of a secret Coroner's Report after forgetting to remove their auxilliary camera module before taking a selfie in the bathroom mirror).

Effects: People (and objects containing any amount of carbon--trees, grass, painted surfaces, small yappy dogs) bursting into flames, leaving characteristic remains that resemble the original object reincarnated as a cinder block. Vampires have been observed to sparkle in daylight (very briefly).


Name:* HOG-3 (Hand of Glory)

Classification: Unconventional weaponry level 2

Deployment: For centuries, it has been known among occult circles that the hand of a hanged felon, suitably pickled and inscribed, can be used for certain ritual purposes as a ghastly five-branched candle. While the fingers burn, according to legend, the bearer can be invisible, can enter any locked building, and can force their will upon others. Much of this is bunkum, but it is confirmed that someone holding such an artefact is very difficult to see.

Prior to 1965 the Laundry maintained a discreet supply arrangement with the Home Office, but after the abolition of capital punishment in the UK supplies became scarce. Finally, a 1980s research project identified a suitable and plentifully available substitute--which is why so many of the pigeons in London's Trafalgar Square appear to only have one foot. The newly miniaturized HOG-3 burns for a duration of up to 120 seconds, during which time a person or vehicle connected to it can move unseen. This is, however, an emergency tool.

Variant models:*

HOG-1: Most powerful version, but extremely rare as no more are being produced. (It is believed that less than ten remain in storage.) Attempts to obtain replacement supplies from overseas fell foul of human rights legislation banning support for capital punishment.

HOG-2: Made from an octopus. Unfortunate side-effects. Don't ask.

HOG-3: Standard issue since 1989; ultra-compact, short duration invisibility device, manufactured using feral pigeons. No longer issued routinely due to incidents of employee abuse resulting in prosecution for stalking. Stockpile diminishing and not being replenished following discussions with the RSPB.

Want to enter? Read the T&Cs, and if you're eligible, leave your entry in a comment below. (When the winners are announced I'll post an update blog entry telling the winners to get in touch so we know where to send the prizes.) Over to you!


You can run variations on Scorpion Stare or basilisks all you like; they ain't gonna win.

Similarly, OFFOG, TASP, and other clear steals from other SF authors (such as Eric Frank Russell or Larry Niven, in those two cases) will be disqualified. Oh, and I am fully aware of the SCP Wiki, and that's off-limits too. (If you want to win, it needs to be All Your Own Work.)

And (you did read the terms and conditions, right?) this bears repeating: "anyone aged 16 or over in the UK, Europe, Australia and New Zealand except employees of Little Brown Book Group, their families, or anyone professionally connected to the competition either themselves or through their families." Non-UK/EU/Australasians are welcome to pitch in, but sorry, you're not eligible for the prizes.

Wielder of Names 5-85

May. 21st, 2016 04:25 am
[syndicated profile] kill6billiondemons_feed

Posted by Abbadon


“And then was given to him a mighty wheel, all heavy of iron, and rimmed with brass, and inside the wheel was a thing called Truth. And it was said to him ‘Hear, if ye wish to lift the burning wheel, ye must first be broken upon it’. He agreed, for he knew his holy duty, and he was taken before the priests, anointed, and ordained, and broken for seven times seven days. Such screaming has ne’er been heard since that time.

But at the end of that time, they took him off, and they cast his limbs in steaming metal, and even though he never healed, he could lift that wheel, though no man could have hoped to. And inside the wheel was the awful thing called Truth, and he broke a thousand times a thousand sinners on its rim.”

– Song of Maybe


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